sudiptasdiary

Traveling to distant places is perhaps one of the most exciting things that could happen to me. I enjoy traveling and visiting places. It has always been my dream and I coveted a job that would include travel once in a while. But strange how motherhood changes everything. I have to travel to USA for work, and whenever I have this opportunity, I start feeling sick. Leaving Titiksha and going away for a trip is a nightmare now. I am going through that nightmare, living everyday and counting days. I am off to USA for nearly a month, and I just wonder when it will end.

On my way, there was a halt at Bangkok and I took the opportunity to visit the city. I visited the floating market and two Buddhist temples. People here are very superstitious; they believe in spirits and worship them before any auspicious event. There are small temples build in most of the houses or street corners, and people stop to pay homage to the spirits. The guide made me bow before one. She said it would be good for me. According to her, I am a lucky angel, because I have a red mole on my left forehead. I can accomplish whatever I wish in life. I was thrilled, because at home all my relatives think that the same mole is inauspicious for a girl. Not that it made me stop doing things and aiming whatever I aspired for in life. But perhaps most of the people back home consider a contented homely life far better than my life.

Back to Bangkok, it was a pretty city, clean and tidy, at least the parts I visited. They fold their hands in the same way we do namaste, and bow low and expect the same from you. There are big cars and good bus stops, with seating arrangements. Some of the buses resembled India, full of people and hurrying back and forth. The King is respected and revered. The guide said that the king’s wife is not from a royal family and she works a lot for the common people. She has been successful in changing the king's attitude towards the poor and the needy. They have opened a number of charitable organizations. There are huge photos of the king and the queen all over the city. They were yellow shirts on Monday, which is a way of offering their regards to the king. In Thai tradition, every day has a color, and Monday, the day King Bhumibol Adulyadej was born, is yellow. Oh, I forgot to mention, the new airport Suvarnabhumi, is really grand. It is huge and tastefully decorated.

I did not visit much in US this time. I had plans to visit New York, but my friend who stays there had to leave for London for an urgent official work and so I just relaxed and missed my daughter, hubby, Calcutta, and the good food. I visited the Malibu beach, which is close by, my colleagues, took me to dinner at a restaurant there.

I love the roads and the communication here. Though, without a car you are crippled. But Rental car is really cheap and if you are confident you can drive anywhere you want. When I travel by a car here, sometimes I forget that I am driving. It is so serene and everybody just mind their rules and are so decent. If you walk, they will wait for you to cross the road. This is the only point that I compare with India and I am saddened. Most of us simply do not follow the traffic rules. How I wished we were nearly as decent while driving, back in India.

I heard that California has a very sound economy. If it were an independent country, it would be the 10^th strongest economy in the world. Have you ever seen crop dusters? They are small planes that are used to fertilize the huge farmlands here. Farmers hire them because it is easy and economical. The planes fly low, their wheels almost touching the crop as they spray fertilizers or pesticides. I thought the process was amazing.

Americans have created a niche in making things simple. Life is so smooth and how I wish we could copy their development, instead of copying their fashion. Believe me, the children back at India are simply adorable, with the type of culture they learn from their elders. I love everything that is Indian. And I am waiting to come back home. It is simply that you compare things when you are in an alien land and with your judgment you try to analyse, which is better.

All said and done, I will be back home soon. I am waiting for the day.

Around three months back I had been on an official trip to the US. I had left my daughter and my husband, and I was terribly homesick. I counted each day and was waiting to return back to India.

Most of the mails that I wrote to my husband then, were filled with negative comments. A bad country, selfish and arrongant people, tough life, etc. Sometimes I analysed, is USA really so bad after all. Most of my friends are impressed and would be happy to go back. Why not me? What made me criticise so badly about the country and it’s people.

I slowly realised, after all it was not such a bad place as I was thinking. We had been on a trip to West Lake village for shopping, to Costco. Things are cheap there, and I wanted to buy some chocolates. It was freezing cold outside and when we finally finished settling the bill it was rather late at night. We had called for a taxi, and they clearly mentioned that it would take some time. We waited and chatted. One shop attendant actually spoke in hindi. He was a “prisoner of war”. I don’t know much about it though. It was getting late, really late, the shop closed and we were now waiting outside. We made several calls but the cab was nowhere in site. We were clueless, our hotel was at least 5 miles away. We were not carrying anybody’s contact number. We realised that we were stranded. Just then an employee, the last one, left for home. He asked casually, “waiting for a cab? take care” and left. Our last ray of hope faded away. After around 10 minutes he drove back. He said; I was just thinking that I should give you a lift back home, it is not so good to spent the night here.” All three of us heaved a sigh of relief. On our way we conversed lightly. Communication is a problem, and everybody owns a car. Buses are rare at that side of California. His name was Sam and he was an American Indian. He leaved very close to his workplace. He actually had to drive 10 miles for giving us a lift at 10 in the night. He called his wife and informed that he would be late.

He reached us to the hotel and we all thanked him for his gesture. And then we never met. That was the first instance when I felt miserable. Not for my home, but for misjudging and maligning a whole country and its people, just because I was feeling homesick.

After that, there were so many instances, when I enjoyed the graciousness of the Americans, somebody inviting for dinner, somebody giving a lift to the nearby bank. I admired their frankness, they speak so freely about their ex-husband, step mom, step father. I had been to my colleague's home for dinner, the first thing his wife said, "I am quite aged now, two years older than my husband, I cannot give birth to another child". She had just given birth to a baby girl. They like Indian food, Indian culture. They respect Indian marriages according to them it is solid. My colleague even had a tabla and sitar in his study room. And yes, I discussed Mayapur and Vaishnava with another colleague. She was interested because my grandmother is a vaishnava herself. She was amazed that I was non vegetarian being a grand daughter of a vaishnava. She is a vegetarian and she wants to visit Mayapur and Nabadwip, out of all places. Mayapur is near Nabadwip and there is the famous Iskon temple there.  

They have this great ability of admiring whatever you are doing. No job is derogatory according to them. They are enterprising and work diligently. They come to office on time and leave on time. They have kids, pets, homes, loans, mortgages, the same problems that bug us. They are like us, but they are culturally so very different.

All said and done and with the rapport developed with my new found friends, I was really glad the day I left US for India. Yes and I tipped the driver a 5 dollar bill, who helped me carry my heavy suitcases till the trolley. He thanked me and said, "Come back soon, beautiful lady" with a smile that reached his eyes.