The first national survey led by Oxford University,
in collaboration with the Institute of Education, London, about the
relationships that adolescents have with their grandparents shows that
grandparents who are involved in the upbringing of their grandchildren
can contribute to a child's well-being.

The
research surveyed questionnaires from 1,596 children, aged between
11-16 from across England and Wales, and researchers conducted in-depth
interviews with 40 children from a range of backgrounds. Another key
finding of the research was that almost a third of maternal
grandmothers provided regular care-taking for their grandchildren, with
40% providing occasional help with childcare. The survey reveals that
grandparents often have more time than working parents to support young
people in activities and are well placed to talk to their grandchildren
about any problems the young people may be experiencing. They were also
found to be involved in helping to solve the young people's problems,
as well as talking with them about plans for their future.

Principal investigator Professor Ann Buchanan,
Director of the Centre for Research into Parenting and Children in the
Department of Social Policy and Social Work at Oxford University, will
launch the research findings at the annual meeting of the Grandparents' Association in London on June 4. Professor Buchanan
says: 'We were surprised by the huge amount of informal caring that the
grandparents were doing and how in some cases they were filling the
parenting gap for hard working parents. Most adolescents really
welcomed this relationship. What was especially interesting was the
links we found between 'involved grandparents' and adolescent
well-being.

Closeness
was not enough: only grandparents who got stuck in and did things with
their grandchildren had this positive impact on their grandchildren.'
It was found that close relationships between grandparents and
grandchildren buffered the effects of adverse life events, such as parental separation, because it calmed the children down.

This
suggests future investigations should pay more attention to the role of
grandparents in developing resilience in young people. A range of
factors predicted the involvement of the grandparents in the upbringing
of their grandchildren including: living in a less deprived area,
frequent contact, and the good health of the grandparent.

For more reports to this path-breaking survey, please visit: The Link

Introduction to Detecting Lies

The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police, and security
experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for
anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie
can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other
deceptions.

Warning:
Sometimes Ignorance is bliss; after gaining this knowledge, you may be
hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.

Signs of Deception

Body Language of Lies:

•
Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand
movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the
liar takes up less space.

• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.

• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth, touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.

Emotional Gestures & Contradiction:

•
Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal
pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would
naturally, then stops suddenly.

•
Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example:
Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after
making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is
made.

• Gestures/expressions don't match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying "I love you."

•
Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking
emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe) instead of the whole face.
For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is
involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.

Interactions and Reactions:

• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.

• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.

• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.

Verbal Context and Content:

• A
liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, "Did
you eat the last cookie?" The liar answers, "No, I did not eat the last
cookie."

•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: "I didn't do it" instead of "I did not do it"

• Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.

• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.

• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When
a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more
than the rest of the words in a statement.

•
Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be
off. In other words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than
emphasized.

Other signs of a lie:

•
If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation
quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The
guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by
the sudden change in topics and will want to back to the previous
subject.

• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.

Conclusion

Obviously,
just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not make
them a liar. The above behaviors should be compared to a person’s base
(normal) behavior whenever possible.

What
makes you want to smoke? For most people, smoking becomes a routine
part of daily life. Certain people, places, feelings, events, and even
moods, called "triggers,"
are linked with smoking. For instance, a trigger can be drinking a cup
of coffee, talking on the phone, or seeing a friend who smokes.

Smoking routines become smoking triggers
Do you smoke a cigarette because you have a cup of coffee? Or do you have a cup of coffee so you can smoke a cigarette?

For most people, it's hard to know. That's why a smoking routine may become a smoking trigger.

Smoking routines may be automatic

Everything you do creates pathways or connections in the brain. Let's
say you routinely smoke in the kitchen. You're actually training your
brain to know that the kitchen is a place to smoke. Eventually, if you
walk into the kitchen, your brain will have an automatic response - light up.

Unlearn old behavior

Because both nicotine addiction and your smoking routine have a
physical effect on your body, it can feel beyond your control to change
your behavior. That's why it's important to be aware. It helps to talk
to your doctor about your smoking triggers. And see if treatments and
quit smoking support plans can help you get cigarettes out of your life.

Watch Out!!!

The first step in changing your smoking routines is to know your own personal triggers. Below is a list of common triggers.

Identify
which ones make you feel the urge to smoke. You can print out a list of
your smoking triggers along with some tips on how to manage those
situations.

• When you drink coffee
• When you drink wine or beer
• After lunch or dinner
• When you talk on the phone
• When you are driving
• When you are with other smokers
• When you are watching TV
• When you are waiting for a bus or train
• After an argument
• When you feel anxious or stressed

If
you've tried quitting before, you may have felt irritable when you
didn't have a cigarette. Why has quitting smoking always been so hard?
The answer has a lot to do with nicotine.

Nicotine addiction cycle

• For most
  people, smoking is more than a habit. It's a nicotine addiction.
  Nicotine withdrawal is why you probably feel irritable or anxious when
  you don't have a cigarette.
• When you smoke, nicotine goes to the brain in seconds.
• When nicotine
  is in the brain, it causes the release of a chemical called dopamine,
  which gives the feeling of pleasure and calm.
• Your body doesn't want that feeling to stop. But when you're between cigarettes, the level of dopamine drops.
• Even if you want to quit, the body craves nicotine. This makes you keep smoking.

The more you smoke, the more nicotine you need

Over time, each cigarette you smoke may become less and less effective.
That's because, as the brain gets used to nicotine, you may need to
smoke more to have the same feeling of pleasure and calm. Of course,
the more you smoke, the more you inhale toxins in cigarettes that are
linked to smoking-related illnesses.

How does it feel to quit?

On top of feeling the urge to smoke, you may also feel some of these common physical nicotine withdrawal symptoms.

• Dizziness (at first)
• Trouble sleeping
• Tiredness
• Trouble concentrating
• Restlessness
• Headache
• Increased appetite
• Coughing and dry throat
• Constipation
• Slower heart rate

These effects will lessen over time.

Next, better health

Smoking-related health risks are actually caused by the other
ingredients found in your cigarettes. For example, tobacco smoke has
more than 60 ingredients known to cause cancer in humans. Luckily, once you quit, your risk of getting a smoking-related illness can start to drop?almost immediately.

How your doctor can help

Quitting smoking is hard, but possible. Your doctor can talk to you
about nicotine addiction and tell you about treatment options and
behavior support that may be right for you.

Tips to stop smoking

Get ready to quit

Ready to start planning your quit? Here are some ways you can get ready to say good-bye to cigarettes.

1. Make a personal commitment to yourself
2. Are you
   worried about your health? Or do you want to quit for your kids or
   family? Think about what will make you want to give up smoking. Write
   those reasons down.
3. Start building a support network to help you quit smoking
4. Tell your friends and family that you need their support. Talk about your reasons for quitting with them, too.
5. Make an appointment with your doctor
6. Talk to your doctor about wanting to quit. Ask about treatment options and support. Then decide on a quit date.
7. Set a quit date
8. Pick a date within the next 2 weeks. That's enough time to get ready, but not so long that you'll lose your will to quit.
9. Mark your calendar. You may be more likely to go through with your quit if you see your quit day in writing.
10. Enroll in a support program to help you quit smoking
11. Look for a program that helps with your urge to smoke and helps you break your smoking routine.
12. Clean up your living spaces
13. Get rid of
    anything that reminds you of smoking. Don't forget to throw out
    lighters, ashtrays, and cigarettes the night before.
14. Anticipate withdrawal symptoms
15. Withdrawal symptoms are part of quitting smoking. Start to plan what you will do when you feel a symptom.
16. Know your smoking triggers
17. Be aware of your triggers so you can understand why you get the urge to smoke.

Things to do on the day of quit

You've taken steps to get ready, and now it's time to quit. Here's what to do on your quit day: Follow this link