rediff.com
Hi Guest
Log in | Sign up
Skip to content

Resolutions

This is going to be a difficult blog post to write.


I am going to say NO in this post.

I was raised to say yes, whenever, wherever I can. Growing up, saying yes to someone’s request symbolized caring, respect, humility and love. Saying no, by default, meant the opposite of those emotions. I was trained as a child, to always give what is mine to others, even when I was not quite ready to give it, even when the needs of others were not quite that pressing. I was conditioned to be there for those who need help, never mind how they chose to repay you.

In retrospect, my parents raised me to be an angel, but I have to live on this earth. I have, in earlier posts, talked about how blessed I was to have met great friends last year. However, what was unsaid, was that I have also met a lot of dementors too.

According to J K Rowling & Wikipedia, dementors “….feed on the positive emotions, happiness and good memories of human beings, forcing them to relive their worst memories.” My closest friends know and have heard of how they had affected me.

So this year, I am going to say NO to every one of them. I owe it to myself, and my friends who helped me through my down time when these people sucked all the positive emotions out of me. I feel that not saying NO to those who do not care about me is equivalent to me not respecting those who want me to be happy. Hence, without much ado…


This year, I WILL NOT allow others to hold me hostage in a place or an activity against my wishes

This year, I WILL NOT friend and follow, both in real and online life, anyone who brings bad vibes to my life without a second thought or a second chance. 

This year, I WILL NOT allow anyone to disrespect me, my friends or my country.

This year, I WILL NOT try to help everyone in need. Some people do not deserve it.

This year, I WILL NOT hesitate to call cops on those whose behaviors border on the psychotic. 

This year, I WILL NOT worry about what was said and what was broken.

This year, WILL NOT apologize just to resolve conflict.


However, this year, I will

Help my friends when I have the time, energy and inclination to do it, and do it without any expectations.

Stop saying yes when I mean may be, and stop saying may be when I mean no.

Keep trying out new things, but also say no when I feel like it.

I have realized that by saying YES to everything and everyone, I end up saying NO a lot to myself and what I want to do. Life is so short, I have to live it the best way I think it should be lived. I do not have it in me to save the world, but I can make it a happier place for a very select number of people.

Posted in Uncategorized.

Tagged with , , .

1 comment

By surya s – January 25, 2010


Year in retrospect

I have been working on a side project which was stalled for a while. And working on it everyday, putting in at least hundred words whether you like it or not means that blogging really really takes a back seat.

So, what did I do in 2009? In no particular order, some low/high lights of 2009:
  • Fall in love with Helsinki and declare it home despite the tininess of the city, the freezing cold, the high cost of living and ignorance of the native language
  • Enjoy my job
  • Fall victim to common cold
  • Do not fall victim to H1N1
  • Go to Paris and fall in love with the city
  • Donate at least 12 bag loads of clothes to charity
  • Got for music concerts
  • Watch Cirque De Soleil
  • Celebrate a Finnish Christmas
  • Be honorary god mother to cats
  • Do a tai-chi course
  • Shoot a shotgun, Glock and AK-47
  • Go to Dharamsala
  • Take parents on a weekend vacation
  • Be rude to people who pity me for being single
  • Be friends with a 3 year old even though we do not speak a common language ( unless you count shrieks as a language)
And more importantly, made really great friends this year. Yes, the best thing about 2009 are the friendships that the year brought with it. I would never say no to any part of the year, even the bad parts, as it brought a lot of amazing people into my life. I have been very lucky to have an abundance of friends, far away and near, of many years and relatively new, very young and very young at heart.
Enjoy 2010 everyone, and keep smiling!

Posted in Finland, Friends, Life.

1 comment

By surya s – January 5, 2010


Forgetting is a heinous crime


Don’t you know about 9/11?

Of course you do. If you are technologically savvy to read my blog, you have heard about 9/11.

Given that I am an Indian, chances are that, you might be from India.

Do you remember the day of the Mumbai blasts? Which one, you ask me? Good question. What about any of them? And I am assuming that none of your near or dear ones got directly affected by it.

No?

I don’t either.

It is funny, isn’t it? Almost 3000 people died in 9/11, in a country where most of us will not eventually end up living. Still, We all remember that. How many Indians died in terrorist attacks in India? Let us take the Kashmir insurgency also into account, if you will.

I have no idea. Neither does Google.I however, found this little gem in wikipedia.

Fifteen attacks in the last nine years. Which averages to a minimum of one attack every year. Has the frequency of the attacks numbed us? Is that why we do not care?

Is that why I do not care?

You can always point out that the US Government retaliated with brute force, striking out at someone. We did not. But that is no reason for us to forget our dead.

And I plead guilty of the gravest crime - forgetting the shock, forgetting the dead and the living,  those who had the misfortune to be in the right places, at the wrong time.

Guilty.


Posted in India.

1 comment

By surya s – September 21, 2009


A step at a time…


Walking is the best way to discover Helsinki.
When you walk, you look around you, and see that behind the bush you pass in a tram is a small urban garden that you have never seen. You see the dogs with the soulful eyes inside cars and outside supermarkets waiting for their owners. You even get to pet them, if their owner happens to come by.

You look up, and you see the architecture of Helsinki. Many have complained about the Helsinki buildings looking too sterile, but they have not seen the peacocks, spiders, mermaids and imps that adorn the apartment buildings. They have definitely not seen the micro gardens that hang on their hooks from the balconies, small rebellions against a space limitation which prevents one from having a garden.

You look sideways when crossing the road, and you see a beautiful sunset on one side and magnificent clouds on the other. You look back and straight ahead and see the sea and the ghosts of hills who fell to the power of machinery.

You feel eyes on you, and you look up to meet the big green eyes of a cat staring at you from a window. You look down and a see a blond, blue eyed little face with surprise written all over it, who just realized that humans come in dusky and black too. You stare back in both cases, share a moment, and walk on.

You get waylaid by dogs who feel entitled for affection. You talk in sign language with the driver of the car when there are no signals to cross and you both need to continue your journeys. You catch men people looking at you, and like it, love it, and sometimes feel creeped out by it.

You press your nose to the front windows of the shops which stay closed, and marvel at the beauty, the uniqueness and sometimes the ugliness of things for sale.

And you realize that, the best thing about walking to your destination is the freedom to stop and  enjoy the possibilities of the journey, be it walking alone or with a friend.


Posted in Finland.

1 comment

By surya s – September 14, 2009


Nokia.. Nokia

There are very few times when you feel pure, unadultrated pride
about the company where you work for. This week has been one of them.

And
no, it is not about the N900. Which does not mean that I am not excited
about the phone. An open source phone, made by the biggest supply chain
owner in the world. Can you imagine the fun we are going to have now?
The applications that are going to be developed. This is going to be a
game changing device.
But, I am more excited
about Nokia getting into money transactions. This is going to be as
game changing as sms was so many years back.
But
more importantly, it is going to allow people to send money back home
is a safe and easy way, not falling into the trecherous interest rates
of your local moneygram guy. It is going to change the way the villages
in Asia and Africa sell and buy. It is going to influence the
purchasing habits of the young kids who grow up with mobile phones and
their grand mothers who learnt how to use a mobile phone so that they
can keep in touch with their extended and far away family. It is going
to change the way people handle money.
And that is an amazing, gobsmacking thing to do.
I
cannot wait to see how this service is going to be rolled out, and how
it changes the way we handle money. I just hope everyone think big and
think global. Making it affordable for a daily laborer in India and a
sharecropper in Namibia.



Posted in Technology.

1 comment

By surya s – August 28, 2009


Mobile Industry Review Columns

I have been writing a column on MIR for the past month - on mobile phones and our obsessions with all things related mobile.
If you have any stories to share, please let me know. And feel free to comment there.

Links to first two articles is here:

http://www.mobileindustryreview.com/2009/07/no_mom_you_cant_have_a_free_phone_the_perils_of_working_for_a_mobile_manufacturer.html

http://www.mobileindustryreview.com/2009/07/q_what_do_dogs_and_oscar_winners_have_in_common_or_why_is_the_mobile_industry_in_india_obsessed_with_pug_dogs.html


Posted in Mobile.

1 comment

By surya s – July 28, 2009


Shifting bases

I shifted homes recently.
When you pack your bags and move on, and settle down at a new place, it is always good to take stock and see how things have changed, or remained the same.
I loved my old apartment. IT had red hallways, green kitchen and a sleeping alcove. It had a huge bathtub and a large bookshelf. It did not have a television or a dishwasher.
I had spent many cold and rainy days curled up in it’s red sofa and working from home, thanks to a liberal employer and home office connection.
I had been woken up in the middle of the night to the sounds of my neighbours making love - and read a book or had a midnight snack so that they can finish with the sounds of advice and encouragement so that I can go back to sleep. 
I started cooking more often, and had invited friends over and tried my variations of Indian cooking on them. I have had a dog visit me. I have had a kid eat the food I made and ask for seconds. I hope I introduced cool people to each other that will lead to great friendships.
I fell in love many times there. I fell out of time many times too - sometimes crying, sometimes feeling like laughing my ass off and not showing it on my face. I walked into new friendships and walked away from the toxic ones.
I had a library, a great cafe/snack place and a bar/club near by. I had plants nurtured and killed there. I won and gave away a giant stuffed toy dog.
I never had a television, but I read many books. I played games. I opened my window to hear Iron Maiden play their tunes.
And now, moving into another apartment, very different from the last one, but loved all the same, I am all set to make my life here.




Posted in Finland.

1 comment

By surya s – July 28, 2009


Five Things I love about Finland…


Is a quiz on Facebook. Rather than clicking on images and posting it to my profile, I thought it would be better to write them down.
How do I love Finland? Let me count the ways… ( up to five .)

#5. Public transport.
This is one of the most amazing public transport networks that I have ever seen. ( Amsterdam, London and Copenhagen also have very impressive transportation networks.) The buses, trams and trains are on time to a fault. And they are plenty, at least in Helsinki.

#4. Nature.
I love the way Finns take care of nature. I love the micro gardens which peep over the balconies of apartments. I love the fact that they do not dump ice into the sea, but have separate areas for doing that.

#3. Work-life balance.
I love it that my managers - past & present - trust me enough for me to work from wherever I want to. I love it that they take delight in the fact that I have a life outside of work. I love it that my colleagues - past and present - are well rounded people, people one can look up to and learn from.

#2. Friends.
I love it that I have made new friends here. I love it that any given day, they reach out to me in real life or via interwebs. I love it that I have met kind, generous and smart human beings who dance to their own rhythms and are cool in their own ways.

#1. Freedom.
I love it that I can walk alone in the middle of the night and live alone in by myself in an apartment. I love it that I can go and buy alcohol on my own. I love it that I can go to a club and dance the
night away, and the fact that men take a No as a No.

I think I found my summer love and he is called Helsinki.


Posted in Finland.

1 comment

By surya s – June 1, 2009


Spring

Spring is here.


I saw my first spring flower, a tiny dot of bright yellow, on my way
back from work last week. I have been able to stay up late and wake up
early, all without an alarm clock. I can smell the new buds in the air.
Looking closer, the buds are deep red like new born babies, waiting for
the perfect cue to surprise us. Bulbs have started sprouting out, and
some have even stated budding. Birds keep singing, never mind that is
is still around zero degrees here.



Spring is here. The the students of Helsinki have suddenly transformed
the city into a more colorful place, wandering around in groups, decked
up as peacocks in all their university finery. The deep thunder like
rumbling of motor bikes fill the city, and bikers zoom past as small
slices of speed and adventure. Cyclists chime their bells, and scurry
from one corner of the city to another like impatient grasshoppers.



Spring is here. There are more movies in the theater. There are more
couple outside, each pair into their own worlds. Suddenly there are
more avenues to explore in the city. The balloon sellers and the clowns
can be found wherever the families are.



Spring is here. My apartment is listening to more songs. The orchid is
budding, the color of the flowers yet unknown. I switched from boots to
shoes. My spring cleaning  is still going on.



Spring, is here, like a coy young bride too shy to lift her veil off her face.


Posted in Finland.

3 comments

By surya s – April 20, 2009


Seventeen


On a dance floor in Helsinki. Sometime before midnight. Sometime this year.

Ha. ok. So the good looking cutie wants to dance with me? Who am I to deny? Especially  when looking like something the cat dragged in ( note to self : always dress up for the possibility to party when you get out ) your ego gets a kick when some young guy wants to dance with you. But once HR then always HR, and my instincts told me that there is something wrong, somewhere.

So somewhere in between getting high on music and taking hydration breaks, I ask him:

How old are you?

I am 21.

How old do you think I am?

My age?

I am tempted to lie. But no. I am pretty much sure that he is not speaking the truth either.

A bit older.

Twenty two?

I do not reply and get back to the dance floor, the music is glorious, the music is beckoning, and it is a crime not to dance a homage to it; a young Nordic God notwithstanding. Towards the end, I decide to take my water break on one of the sofas. My friends have already left. I am on an all time high without even a shot of vodka. This has been a good weekend.

And somehow unsurprisingly, I have got company.

And I resume my third degree questioning.

How old are you again?

Dont you believe me?

No, not really. I dont say this, but just shrug my shoulders.

I am seventeen. Are you twenty two?

I have heard people talk about hitting on sixteen or seventeen year olds and having random sex with them. But those were (a) guys, (b) they were actually twenty two (c) and looking for random sex.

All of the above does not apply to me. And I work in HR. I take a deep breath.

I am twenty seven.

I dont really care.

The reply, which came fast, was not really surprising. He had, even at that young age, the easy assurance of those who always got what they wanted.

How did you get in then?

I am more curious to know the know how of subverting the age limit.

I am shown an ID card. I am told that it is a fake one, and that is how he got in. I am asked if I need any drinks. I decline. I am happy with my water. He insists, and I ask for a coke.

We sit down, and we talk about books and music. He dissects music with casual assurance, and talks about books passionately. He even like F1. He talks of technology, the telecom industry and about world politics. He gets my Cartman quotes and Family Guy references. I do not get it when he goes on about video games. And every woman that walks past us glance at him. but he has eyes and ears only for me.

And he is only seventeen.

We go back, and dance some more to the music. The night is finally over and those of us left walk out of the door.

He wants to know if I would be interested in watching Opera later in the week, as he has already got tickets. And may be we can go to Carelia later for dinner, if I do not have other plans.

Give me your name and mobile number. He thrusts his iPhone at me.

No.

He is seventeen.

Not even your name?

No.

Dont you want to know mine?

I smile, reach up and tussle his hair. He is smart enough to know that I do not want to meet him again. His knows he is being rejected, but is still unfailingly chivalrous.

I can drop you home, my car will be here soon to pick me and my friends up.

No. I am calling the taxi now.

And I leave the most perfect person I have ever met in Finland, with a hug and a parting wave.

Because he was only seventeen.


Posted in Finland.

5 comments

By surya s – April 12, 2009