. NEXT TO MY HEART
I was a loner. Not by chance .But by choice. However, I was enjoying every single moment of it The world looked more spacious and more accommodative to me .and I had a very comfortable life style too. So many things to encounter and so many things to explore the niftiness of the nature .yes! I found the world a playground, where I could play the game of my choice
However, things were not thus a few years back… I was never the master of my world then. Now I was a woman of 35, nubile, youthful looking and unmarried. my friends often praised my beauty. Therefore, I think I was beauty in the conventional sense of the word. Above all I had a very interesting job as a free lance journalist to the magazine Decca Blitz .It was also a leading magazine .I used to cover the scoops and the latest news that circled in the south Indian film industry…
Being in Bangalore had its own advantages too. Here the vista of our professional horizon could spread its wings far and wide …You had to just look around to see an opportunity knocking .That was one of the reasons why I had chosen to stay in this garden city. I have been here since my twenty fifth year. However, the first and the foremost reason why I was here was to be far away from my native place, in the northern part karalla. A small and old-fashioned village blessed with Mother Nature's whims and fancies. A sedate village with sedentary crowd. Every one relaxed there, as every one seemed happy with what little they did or earned. There rivers flowed, birds sang always and the wind smiled .the people enjoyed the bounty of nature as much as they enjoyed their life .!!
It as in such a peace atmosphere that my fathered made his empire an empire in which he was the uncrowned king .He was a very influential person and a politician by profession.His name was venue gopal. People there used to say that Venue gopal was the 'brain" behind all the political decisions .He had a nick name too…—CHANAKYA .Venugopal could change the course of the political climate of kea with, snap of his fingers he was indeed a veer shrewd man…
My father had a very resourceful back ground. Being the only so of his parents, he had inherited a all the wealth of my grand parents . Although all those inherited money was of decent origin, it was getting spent for the most vile full acts and deeds and purposes ! Venus gopal was ruthless and recklessand spend thrift. He threw more money to reap more and more .Inshore he had the ball in his court always .!1with the money he owned he bought power. His physical appearance matched his ability. Women were easy baits for him. My mother had no other choice other than to dance to his tunes.
I had a brother who rebelled a lot against my father .Still he loved under his roof as he had no guts to forsake all the extravaganzas of the Venugopal house hold .so in turn he decided to overlook his ill will towards his father .I watched in silence the noxious escapades of my father .He ordered things about .My mother was just a glorified servant
One night I sat with my mother late on to the night. As my anther was away on some ruthless assignment, or to be with one of his concubines Mother just worshipped him .or that was the picture she presented to us . I used to wonder whether my mother was aware of all the bad activities of her husband .his sexual escapades were an open secret of that village. So I was sure mother too knew about it al .so that night I asked her a very adult question .I was twenty two years old .so tether wasn't any harm in asking her 'Mom, are you aware of dad's loose moraled way of living ? He is having so many women friends…Whey don't you ask him at least once what he is up to .."? My nether heard me out .then slowly…Very slowly..She raised her eyes and looked at me…I saw many emotions flickering past there in those large and expressive eyes. the most predominant of them was sorrow ,that was pent up in her I knew then that she was quite aware of the private hell she was trapped in .forever and always she was indeed like a bird trapped in a gold cage ..
She had all the material comforts…But peace of mind was a stranger in her life..My mother d sobbing softly…inbetweenher sobs ,she told me "Saul know every thing what your father is doing .your father married me solely because he knew very well that I would never ever be an impediment in hiss each for sexual pleasures out side marriage .i cat afford to be.Asyou very well know ,I belong to a mediocre family .My father was a very sick person .so when your father's proposal came in thru a common friend ,it was more than welcome. We had so many financial obligations too at that time…Because my mother's disease and the medical expenses and later her demise ,every thigh made dad fiscally and morally defeated person Besides he had another more daughter .So on the whole ,your father's proposal was like breath of fresh air in to our household'. My mother heaved a sigh of relief and then continued" we never knew about the negative side of your father ,at the time of my marriage to him.But by and by I started to get wind of his high libido and the perfidious nature .twice or thrice I questioned him. However, a scorching glare was all that I had got in return. I knew I was help less. But since I was from a poor back ground ,I chose to suffer in silence .there was nothing that I could go back to "mother started sobbing softly in self pity .I cursed myself for broaching upthe subject with her I went to bed that night with a heavy heart .
My mother was not the same after that day's incident .She behaved as if she was finding it difficult to conceal her anguish and distress. She hated eye contacts with me even.
Days scrawled by .i graduated in literature with flying colours,and immediately tried for a job of some sort. That was how I had landed up with Jaya .
Jaya was running a very successful magazine called "Decca Blitz". Her sister was my classmate in school. It was at a temple festival near our house that I chanced to meet her.
We exchanged trivialities and then slowly, my disparity to .stand on my feet financially ,cropped up. Jay promised to help me some how. Therefore, from that day onwardsI started working my mind towards my one goal 'how to abscond from my father's vicinity before he got me married to some good for nothing oaf-.
That was how I came to the world of working women. It was so different..So refreshing .As if you have touched the heaven..!!Youbecame the master of your conscience…In this material world money was power-The Money Power- I had that power now..It made me feel so elated…
My new job required me to be away from my house. That was how I came to live in Bangalore .My fathered disagreed at the beginning . Later he obliged after a lot of cajoling from my part. May it was not my pleading that did the unexpected. It was rumored that he was undergoing certain political strains and also that he was openly living with one of his concubines. What ever it was, I got the green signal to go ahead . Thus I went to the garden city to relish my freedom ..
I knew I would get many opportunities to study further and to soar high in professional fields. So many opportunities were there in the garden city .Life took a roller coaster ride with me..With myriad activates to keep me occupied, outside my job hours. Unlike the village, where elite slumbers at the strike of 10'o' clock, Bangalore never slept .In fact it was then that life came to full swing in Bangalore every seemed to have some kind of tit bits to do …like window shopping ,pubs, merry making ,chatting ,drinking ,fast driving and what not. Even girls were out on the road
I had rented a three bedroom house with three of my friends from my office .our firm provided the advance and the rent we paid between us.
So at last I could be away from my father for good. Still I constantly kept in touch with my mother .She was the silent scope goat of all the audaciousness I showed .She once told me in more than a few words, the verbal harassment she was experiencing from her husband ,all because of my exit. I let it sink in ..You can't make every one happy always…May be in my case, I was the thorn in my mother 's life …But I knew the verbal lashing would sooner than later would take a back seat ,as he would soon get another factor of more interest .which would be full of lust and money. Poor Mother..!
Days swept by …I got quite engrossed in my new life .Yes it was full of bounce and bounty . A life that gave me full opportunity to put in all my mettle. I was meeting so many people ,so many happenings and of course I was traveling to new places almost every day. Journalism at its best..That was how I saw my job
But a nagging pain always persisted at the back of my subconscious mind, in the form of my mother .She was finding it very difficult to adjust with my dad .His escapades were trying to hinder my mother 's peace of mind .
A few months of contradictions dragged by things were looking very rosy for me at the job front. But my weekly phone calls to my mother did not have any thing rosy about it. Day by day her mental equilibrium deteriorated. How could my father be so cruel ? was there going to be no end to his noxiousness and notoriety? But he was a despicable figure just for us .To the outside world, he was a Demi God.-an indispensable factor What with his shrewd brain and affluent wealth? A real connoisseur of the first order. A "Chanakyan" of the modern times His concubines increased with his charm. Such was his unquestionable charm
One night I was jolted out of my sleep by the shrill ring of the telephone .It was my brother .He mumbled just three words that collapsed tee world around me They were" Mother Committed Suicide"!!!….All the other facts that he sobbed in to the phone remained incoherent to me…as they were immaterial. But I did not have to listen, as I knew the reason that led her to do the drastic..She was escaping from a miserable life."Oh God!! "Chanakya" had destroyed my mother forever . He had harassed her to an early grave. A beautiful life snuffed out in its prime solely due to his hurting escapades .
That day some thing snapped inside me .I started hating men from then onwards I knew it was a much exaggerated decision. But I was not able to single out a good male /I developed a mental blockade. I was indeed under a lot strain .Men to me were a set of perverted and ruthless lot .It would indeed take a very long time for me to change this attitude .That is if at all I were to change ..
Seasons changed many times over I was now 35 years old .A resilient woman, almost like the proverbial bird Phoenix, that had rises from its own ashes. A very cold and calculated woman ,who was also a loner ..Yes..Loner by choice ..
Present tense prodded me out of my reverie with a phone call. I was now ready .to get own with my lonely life
Hosur was a city a bit far away from the proper city. This time I was asked to cover a story about the deserted and raped victims. I had opted out of that initially .Still my boss thought, it would be a challenge for me .So very different from the tinsel world coverage. My boss had high opinion about me.
So the very next day itself, I started my journey towards the shelter home that housed the morally hurt women ..It was a sprawling area, that housed a lot of karalla style houses ..That place immediately brought some mixed feelings in to my heart I was already aware of the fact that the proprietor of that institution was a Malayalee ,settled in Karnataka. But I was not prepared for what I saw, when I saw him .. His name was Tony Alex. And he was some where around the wrong side of forty. He was a very striking personality, with eyes of a saint -Kind and understanding.
Sitting down to talk with him was an entirely new experience for me ,as he had so much to tell in favor of those poor hapless women I liked him instantly .All the more so because he had the greatness to start a place just for women ,who were deserted and who were victimized to assaults. That made him a different person from the lot. Even though he was a bachelor, he felt that it was heart warming to help and do social service, as he himself was an orphan since his twelfth year. He was brought up by a kind hearted lady in a small orphanage which she was running all by herself .There he was given good education .from there he had the good fortune to go abroad and work sincerely for a firm ,which paid him well.
Coming back ,he had taken initiative to take over his mentor's shelter home .He had changed that place in to an all women house .It was in fond memory of his foster mother .the home sheltered all the hapless women and their issues ,and also the women chatted by their lovers or husbands .
I simply adored Tony Alex. Yes he was different..And so very refreshing too .He was slowly bringing back my lost confidence in men! In fact, he was doing a completely emphatic and altruistic service .He had so much to tell me .I was swept in to a transcendent world with him His speeches had that kind of mesmerizing effect on me. He knew so well the feelings of the down trodden, especially those women who were trampled over by the male chauvinisms.
I collected some very vital materials for an interesting and mind opening article .Yes I had wanted to prove my point to the world .Here was an opportunity that I had been waiting for until now. Tony Alex made it all possible for me. On my way back to my house, my thoughts kept wandering back to Tony Alex. In addition, his philanthropic attitude Could such fine-hearted men still dwell along side with my father. Tony was so different..So much poles apart in comparison.. Both my father and Tony were striking looking persons .But there ended the similarities .they were two faces of mankind.- Devil and a saint. ..
On reaching my house, I immediately called my boss. The time was then 11 pm…However, I did not mind .I was so excited .She was so surprised at my call at that late hour. But her surprised turned to joy ,when I told her that I had collected enough and more materials for a heart renting article on these women Yes so many big wigs ,who pose as demure and well mannered set to the world could be exposed .The public would get a first hand information about these masquerades. About the noxious and nefarious nocturnal activities. So many wolves in sheepskin were going to take it hard .Deccan Blitz was indeed going to go places.
Although I felt happy and elated at my achievements, I was restless. There was an incomplete feeling to which I was I was not able to put a name in to . That unknown anxiety was gnawing in my conscience. I knew I was thinking about Tony Alex. .But I did not want to admit that .A kind of shunning the reality .Because I was afraid that I was falling in to that age old feeling between a man and a woman . I was shell shocked as I was getting bold in my thoughts about Tony Alex.
As the days passed, I started feeling like a woman for the first time . The iron cage I had built around me till now was vanishing . I recalled what my best friend; Neethu had told me once about the joys of falling in love .Love indeed made a human being change to a sober and sweeter person Any way that night I went to bed with a smile on my lips
Far away in a house near the shelter home, at Hosur, Tony Alex too was thinking about Shalini. Love strings were playing a tango for them .
The morning broke out with a bright look and to me the world outside my window looked kaleidoscopic..
What was happening to me? I tried to ward off my soft corner for Tony Alex. Because I reminded my self that he was after all a Man…And I had sworn my self to have nothing to do with Men.. Yes that species that bore ChanakyaVenugopal…! The lot that led my mother to an early grave…However, I was unable to stop my mind's chemistry.
It has been a fortnight since I had last paid a visit to that shelter home and gave myself to Tony Alex and his indisputable charm. However hard I tried to ward him off my mind, the more he came in to my mind capturing my inner most cravings. So I decided to cal him up and reveal my needs .Yes .what is wrong in letting the person concerned to be aware of the fond thoughts about him? I wanted to lay all the cards straight on the table..That way I won't have any regrets later..
So thus with my mindset, I rang him up. The phone at his house gave two shrills and then a sexy drawl came over the line ..It was Tony Alex. I told him Who I was..And immediately he came alive ,as if he was waiting for my call! Hello ms Shalini..What a pleasant surprise! ..I was wondering what ever had happened to you .How did the story go? Was it accepted well by the readers..I have yet to get the copy of the same..You know here we don't get your magazine..i will have to go the main city to buy one .."Thus went the insignificant talks. I knew well that he was waiting for the inevitable…Infact both of us knew that..The moments were so charged that we could both feel its impact
After a full pregnant silent, I mumbled in to the line clear andslow..'Tony Alex, I called to say one important thing .You know Tony, you are so different from all the men I have come across till now .Your character is so very close to my heart ..In fact I am so impressed by your untiring nature to be an ambassador of the needy women I am really bowled over by your charms and looks and of course nature..I am sorry ,if I am being audacious and out spoken But I always like to call a spade a spade ..That is why I revealed what is in my heart "I stopped..and realized that I had not breathed since then. I was panting .This was a feeling that was so new to me .But it was indeed very refreshing and rejuvenating I was about to keep the receiver down when heard his voice at the other end .I had nearly given up..I heard him say 'Shalini I understand your feelings so well ..Just know this much al those feeling you have for me are mutual..Only difference was that I was unable to gather enough courage to tell you about how I felt about you..As I didn't know how you would take them ..since you had already told me about your animosity towards al men ,for a concrete reason which you have not yet revealed to me ..I Am not probing further too .But now since you have now decided to be different, I have gathered courage .Yes Shalini..I love you..I loved you the moment I saw you..I knew you were the woman I have been waiting for so long…We have the same aspirations and ambitions .yes darling ..i love you sincerely "Tony stopped overwhelmed. I was stunned .This was Love..Love that had culminated spontaneously from the similarities of the heart..The rapport was so similar .He hated all the men for all the injustice they did to women. and hence he had wanted to be different. I was in search of such a man . A Man different from all the other men .it was an added advantage that he was a good-looking person too.
So they decided to met at her place the very next day.
That Day could not have come fast enough for me .My room mates were all away for the week end on a picnic .Due to my hectic schedules and the imminent meeting with Tony Alex ..,I had opted out.
By 4 'o' clock Tony Alex came .I ushered him in to my sitting room .For a moment he looked as if he would to my side and would embrace me .I could also see the conflict in his eyes to control his that instinct . So many soft feeling swept past his face .so sober…so handsome..
may be I was also waiting for Tony Alex to happen in to my life ..
He talked about so many personal things..about his mother's demise and the loneliness he felt after that ..Growing up with out any solid relation ship he also talked about his foster mother 'one Ms Briganza ..of Holy Home for orphans ..She had brought him up so well Then he paused in between his talks and turned to her side …"tell me shalu..Where are your parents? why is it that you are still unmarried ?"I sat still for a moment . I wasn't yet ready to tell him the sordid story of my family. So I just told him thus "Tony just don't ask me about my family yet .it is a sob story ..just know that my fathered was the reason why I hated all men ..till I met you .You are so different from him .I suppose that answers a lot of your questions . " I stopped for a moment and said "my mother committed suicide ,due to the ill treatment of my fathered .I don't want to continue ..you have brought confidence in me for men ..How I wish all men were like you .!!You know Tony ,I there was some thing very special about you ,the moment I met you ."I stopped for loss of words. Tony broke the silence ."Come on Shalu ..Forget all that ..let us go for a drive ."
The weather looked very salubrious. so I got in with him in his luxurious car .we drove off to some lonely place .we had so much to talk about we were moving past the towns ..Some rocky space were getting visible..Oh it was all so beautiful. The nature looked good enough and full enough .just like my heart .My soul soared high .
The sun was sweeping down and the night was setting in ..I was in a trance .To be in love yes it was the most wonderful thing that can happen to a human being. I closed my eyes and leaned back on to the seat..slowly I became aware of a moment next to me ..I felt Tony 's hands holding my hand ever so lightly .was I dreaming Then it was a soothing caress. I opened my eyes. I could hear the rhythm of my heart beat.
It was raining .No one .not even a house was there in the vicinity. We were alone in the sprawling warm luxury of that car. Our own private heaven .I moved in to his arms ,as if that was the most natural thing in the world .he held me close to his heart .I could hear his frantic heart beats frantic to hold me tight then slowly he raised my face and kissed me full on my mouth. My lips were hot and trembling .just like his .We moved our mouth from side to side, always seeing to it that the magic was not lost ..A thousand stars shone on my horizon then. I was responding. No melting in his arms I moved more closely to him, hugging him to my heart's content. Kissing him back deeply and intensely. I felt his hands caressing my neck ,my back and slowly drifting further down ..Yes ..i wanted him so badly .he got my message , my desire ,my lust ..as if it was all so mutual. We moved to a more comfortable position at the back seat .And with the rain beating hard on the windowpane and with thunder rumbling somewhere far away I reached the pinnacle of ecstasy with Tony Alex. That orgasmic pleasure that only a man and a woman can together create and exult in union .We became one . That exquisite moment lasted until eternity. His life was ebbing in to me . In a crescendo To give my self to a man of my dreams .Oh! God what an exhilarating experience!!!….What more could I have asked for..My wait was worth all this..We lay spent in each other 's arms-half dazed and half drowsy. The rain came tumbling down with full force. I felt so peaceful. Both of us were lost in our own worlds. Then unexpected Tony broke the silence. Shalu, you know, darling ,I have a reason why I love these lonely and deserted women ..My mother too was a destitute..desserted by the man she loved and believed . "Then he stopped, as if remembering some thing .Must be some gory past happenings. I opened my eyes and looked searchingly at him, when I asked "why, Tony …who was your fathered …why did he dessert your mother ?"Tony looked at me with constrained anger. He was finding it very hard to control his rising temper . He said "my fathered is known more by his nick name than his real name You know he was none other than 'chanakya"..Chanakya Venugopal !!!!
I was dumb struck. Every thing came crumbling down . Realization dawned in slowly and painfully I had just made love to my own brother!!!"Chanakya " over rode all my aspirations and ambitions ,my love and my desire . and devastated me completely
"why Shalu DO you know him You look so stunned ,at the utterance of his name . His sound was reaching me .as if from a tunnel. " how little he knew .still she felt it was better off that way . I did not want to share my private hell with him . Nothing was coming in to focus as I felt my head spin . So I said nothing.. Just shook my head and gave him a non-committal smile.
The rain had stopped and we started on our return journey Some spell was broken. I knew it ..but Tony was not aware of it . He was happy and satiated. He had just now made love to the woman he wanted as his own
The car stopped in front of my house. Tony kissed me before I got down I returned him a soulful kiss. and then said to myself ."I love you, my darling ." Tony felt me stiffen in his arms. But said nothing about it . He must have felt that I was a little tired and worn out by the first slush of ardent love making. He drove off with a promise to meet me the next day
I stood there lonely and lost and tired ."Oh my lover, my life..Why did you have to be my brother ? then I started crying inconsolable sobs. My whole body racked with the intensity of my sobs . I squatted on that wet cemented ground and cried No one stopped to watch. I was unaware of my surroundings. No one looked Even if some one felt my position awkward, they did not comment. Slowly I got up, went in to my house, and closed the door.
My roommates were away for the night. So I was alone. I went straight to the bathroom and looked at my self in the mirror. A disheveled stranger looked back at me. What was it that my eyes were trying to convey? Was it that "shalu had waited all these years as a celibate ,hating men and their deeds ,only to succumb to an acute and incestuous act?' God what a colossal injustice. I did not wait any longer. Some uncanny force started pulling me though the chores. I washed my self-.Then came back to my bedroom and gave myself a scented luxurious session. Wore my favorite cream-coloured chiffon sari. Then I opened my cupboard and took my car keys and a bottle of sleeping pills that my friend often took .for getting good sleep. later locked my house and got in to my car and started to drive slowly, but surely and decidedly .
The night was still young. There was a slight drizzle. While driving though the milling crowd, my thoughts wandered to that time when the drizzle had started and had changed in to a down pour what an erotic feeling had engulfed me then ..I had given my self to my lover no. my brother Why was I the chosen one for misery always ?
My thoughts nulled when I saw the neon lighted board of a Hotel 'Hotel Kanishka -. I drove straight in to that hotel's porch .Then got out of my car and locked it . I had a small suitcase with me .I had packed them in a hurry . Then went to the reception and booked a A/C room .I was ready .A boy showed me to my room, Room no :333. I locked the room and kept the tag 'DO NOT DISTURB' out side the door. I sat down on the well laid out bed..the sheets were so clean and fresh smelling . I felt the softness of the bed for a minute. Then got up and took a glass of water and the whole lot of sleeping pills I had carried in my bag . Swallowed the entire pills down in one gulp. I laid myself on that clean bed..Closed my eyes and said a prayer."God forgive me..But I had to do this . I had to escape from this world infested by the pest called Chanakya Venugopal .
Then slowly Shalu closed her eyes..
She was drifting…She fell in to that unending final sleep thinking about the fine moments she enjoyed in the hands of her only love ,a few hours ago

*

THE BRIDE

Rajagopal and Rohit were best of friends…Yes that was how it was .seeing their togetherness and the constant fights and cracking jokes, no one believed other wise..It was fun to watch them talk and laugh at every little aspects of the surroundings..They always had a thing to discuss and laugh about..Looking at them every one wondered how they could be so free and so close..There was a reason why every one thought so..There was a n age difference of 25 years between them .yes they were also father and son..But they considered that relation ship secondary to their friend ship ..such was the coziness they shared ..
Raja gopal married young as his dad was a very old man and he was also sick…Doctors had not given him more than a few years..
Rajagopal's dad was a very affluent and enterprising person..his wife was a very obedient woman ,who preferred to have no life out side the realm of her husband's hold ..
It was in this closed circumstances that Rajagopal grew up ..He was the only issue and so he was also forced to obey his father in many things ,even if he didn't want to oblige .".Raja " One day his dad called him to his side ..and said "I have decided to get you married to one of my friend's daughter. you know why ..He hold a lot of shares of my company .Besides he is a very reliable source for the betterment of our leather company .."He stopped to see some kind of objection coming from his son's mouth ..But nothing of that sort occurred ..Rajajgopal knew better than to raise an objection .It was futile
So when Rajagopal was just 22 he got married to Suma initially he was in consternation of loosing all his freedom being a married man. Because his friends had loaded him with all the gilt and glam of a bachelor..Was he going to miss out on all that all of a sudden ?? Had just entered the threshold of that stage..but Rajagopal didn't unnecessarily ponder or delve in to any thing that is impossible or that looked to be impossible from the first impression ..May be marriage was what was written on his destiny ..a little too early or late is not going to change any thing
Thus consoled ,he entered his matrimonial life
Months and years flew by..Now he was on the fifth year of his wedded bliss .Just twenty seven and a father of a three year old..But he had no complaints what so ever, as Suma his lovely wife, saw to it that he enjoyed his marital life to the brim .There wasn't any remorse either from Raja goal's side ..He had wanted to shout to all those false bachelors, that marriage was not the end of any kind of freedom for a man Suma was his life's better half indeed But the destiny waved a cruel hand on, that young and happy couple ..
They were both returning from one of his friend's house when the mishap occurred..The late night drive and the little bit of drinks he had consumed, had made Rajagopal a bit tipsy..But he felt confidant enough to drive home .Rohit,their son, was not with them as it was a cocktail party to felicitate some foreign delegates who had come to sign a big deal with Rajagopal company ..
The car turned at a cull de sac and collided head on with an oncoming lorry .the hit killed Suma on the spot..But not Raja gopal ..he escaped unscathed as was thrown out of the seat to a near by hay stack ..
There ended Rajagopal joy and happiness. He who had prided so much in matrimonial life ,now cursed his present widower 's life .
Rajajgopal became a recluse for so many years .He even lost his drive for making his company a success .a kind of numbness entered in to his system ..
It took him so many years and the untiring encouragement of his dearest friends to bring him out of the shell he had created around him..Above all his son Rohit grew up to be the best son ever .he was so obedient and intelligent that Rajagopal found no reason to complain or to scold him ..The gulf created by his wife was fast getting removed or filled up thanks to Rohit and his lovable nature .
Years rolled by and Rohit and Rajagopal became inseparables..in looks too Rohit had inherited a lot of his dad's good looks ..But somewhere he resembled his mother Suma.
Rajagopal was the happiest man now Because he had a good company in Rohit…When Rohit was growing up and when his life was in books ,schools and his school mates ..rajagopal used to feel a kind of loneliness that could have been because of his solitude. But he didn't care..Rohit was his world now..But so many of his dear friends did not feel so. They pressed him to marry..Yes that was a reasonable demand too .As it was imperative that there should be a lady around during Rohit formative years ..other wise. How can he get an exposure to the tender side of life ? Like a mother's love..Even if it is only a step mother ,it would have done wonders to Rohit ..That thought used to gnaw at Rajagopal often .so the solution he found was not by entering in to another marriage. but by being a mother too along with being a father ..yes he enjoyed the role of a mom and dad to Rohit ..that was how much he cared for Rohit ..he was not sure whether another woman would be able to give the same amount of love and affection that he is giving to his son .or what Suma would have given to her son ,had she been alive ..the thoughts of Suma often gave Rajagopal strength and a purpose
Years rolled by and Rohit grew up to a handsome lad of 23..and his dad was just 47 but Rajagopal was smart and young looking .. .from a distance they both looked almost like good friends ..the age difference between them was not at all pronounced .The main reason for that was that Rajagopal had a thick mop pf hair even at this age ..there was no sign of thinning visible yet. probably a little salt and pepper ..but definitely not thinning ..
Rohit was just finishing his degree course ,when Rajagopal asked him to join along with him in the leather business.."What is the use of higher studies..when you have a well flourishing business waiting to take you "was all that Rajagopal told when ever he was confronted by his son ."But dad..It is always better to take a MBA degree, if I am to prosper well in our business" But his dad was not very supportive of that idea altogether .probably because he was able to bring up his empire all by himself to such lofty heights with out the so called MBA degree..But Rajagopal did not want to dissuade his son..So he said instead "Ok son …i don't want to deny you any of your pleasures …But are you very particular that you want to take the MBA from college itself …Don't you think a correspondence course would suffice .That way you can of course help me a lot with my business affairs .." raja gopal stopped in between as waited to see some kind of positive sign in his son's face..he was right ..Rohit was indeed considering that option .He did not want his father to take up the entire blame all by himself..So after a few moments he agreed "Ok dad ..just as you wish .."
So that was how Rohit became a business man…since business was in his veins,he got acclimatized to it as soon as he joined ..Days of happiness and hopes flew past..Along with his studies ,he also managed the office matters well .Rajajgopal was indeed a complacent man now .so much he had suffered ..Now it felt it was time for the pay offs he was getting rewarded for all the sufferings he was made to indulge, from a very early age itself ..
Meena was a front office assistant to the Rajagopal Leather company ..She was as smart as she was beautiful .Infact there was a line of Romeos onthat same office vying with each other for her attention..But she paid no heed to all those cronies. But she got very close to Rohit..Not because he was the manager's son..But because she liked his character and the unassuming way in which he carried himself even in spite of his high status and wealth..Yes that was true to the core too..Rohit didn't have any segregation as far as the staff and their status were concerned…To him every one had a very important role to play in bringing up a company ,,,that too a very successful company ..
Even Rohit favored Meena lot…She was a back ward caste girl..But that was not at all an hinderence for Rohit..As he never cared for any religion in particular .Or rather he favored no religion ..that was the way he was brought up .the priority was given to human beings to behave like one ..Rajagopal's instaneous success was all due to that secular feelings ..
Rohit was often seen with meena.and that started some raised eyebrows in the office .Some elder staffs who were very much prejudiced about marrying in to the same caste ,created a kind of strain to that delicate relationship Rohit knew for sure that he was slowly falling in love with her ..who wouldn't fall for such a pretty and efficient girl .So one day he decided to get a little more friendly with her ..After the office hours ,he asked to stay back "Meena ,there is some important typing to be done .can you stay back for a while ?' he looked imploringly at her .."Of course, sir. Why not "please Meena …Don't call me Sir just Rohit …That is better .after all we are both of the same age group isn't it "? With that he sat with her and gave her some notes .."please type them and bring them to my room..'.."Ok sir ..sorry Rohit .." they both laughed at her naughtiness .
"Rohit where is your dad ..does he know that you are here asking me to stay back" .."Of course he knows…infact he is there in his office room…probably getting tomorrow's work done …"She gave a throaty laugh and dismissed that issue…She went back to her room…and started typing…Rohitwas was wondering what his father would have to say to all this, when once he comes to know of all the hurrying he had done for a matter of less importance ..He left that problem there .he would tackle it when he came to that..As soon as he settled back to waiting for Meena…there was a knock at the door ..And before he could get ready ,his dad came in 'what is happening here Rohit..? What is Meena doing there. I was about to get out of the office when I heard sound in her room .on enquiring she told me that you had asked her to type ' why what is so very important "? Rajagopal looked really surprised…Meena seemed very happy telling about it all .as if she did not mind waiting " Rohit come on I, know you better than that .." With that he patted his son's shoulder .Rohit felt so embarrassed by that gesture ,that he decided to tell what ever was in his mind ..he hesitated a while ..then said in a slow voice .."Dad. yes what you had doubted was true ..I do like Meena a lot .but I just want to know her a little more to understand what she feels for me ..that is why I had fabricated a false urgency about a letter .."Rohit felt as if he was freezing with anticipation .but his father understood his son so well that ,he just smiled and said ,"Rohit ,she is of course a sweet girl ..And a very intelligent one too ..you know some thing ? She has ever so many doubts about all the activities of this leather business .she would surely make a good wife to you.She was asking about my entire family background, about our business..etc..then itself I doubted ,why so much interest in our family matters as well as family history now I know the reason behind her doubts .she was getting an idea about her future in-law's house .."With that he laughed loudly..Just at that moment .Meena came in with all the typed papers…She smiled innocently and beamed at Rohit.".Sir…Sorry Rohit..Here are the papers"..And then she turned to Rajajgopal and said with equal happiness and aspect "how do you do sir ..I didn't see you around today ..what happened sir ? are you feeling ok? '"Of course I am alright …Just had another important meeting to attend to ..So I dropped in just half an hour back .. So she was being over good to him…May be trying to win over her future father in law..With that thought, he turned to watch his son trying to discuss certain typed matters in the papers..She was all eyes and ears for Rohit…Rajagopal felt that his exit was imperative..May be that was what they both were wishing too…He moved away from them to his room..He locked his room and just drove away to his house…While driving he thought of what he had just witnessed..Yes his son was falling in love .And he did not know about it .he who had prided so much in the fact that there was no secrets between them…But that was how life took its twists and turns…From some where out of the blue, you would face realizations ..Here it came in the form of Meena .
It was late in to the night and Rajagopal had not slept..He was turning and tossing..Suma's memory started haunting him. Had she been here now she would have been aware of Rohit love…Yes it is usually to mothers that children open up..But he had been so free with rohit…When did he hide his heart's finer feelings from him ..Did he fail any where ?
Rajagopal knew he was un necessarily getting worked up…There are certain things in life which we don't decide on for our selves ..The reason is unexplainable to.
But one thing he decided..That is as early as possible he was going to talk to Meena's parents ,about giving her as his daughter in law. on thinking about all the pains Meena went to know more and more about his family and about his son and also about him was an explicit example of how much she was also interested .may be it was her way of sending the feelers .."What an idiot I have been, for not having got an inkling of that young mind!!"Their constant togetherness..And also Rohit over enthusiasm to be with her all were so predominantly pointing out to the obvious..He went to sleep with such sweets decisions and memories .".Tomorrow is going to be a very eventful and hectic ..'
Rajagopal got up very early and woke up Rohit too …"son, you know what is the first thing I am going to do ..I am going to visit Maenads house and ask her hand for my son ..Rohit sat up right ,as if he was bitten by a dog.."Dad…You don't mean that ..Do you ?" "Yes …Of course I mean it ..Why? Do you have any doubts about her feelings for you ?" Rajagopal was all concern now "No dad…but..She has not yet told me that she loves me..And more over even I haven't openly told her so .Although I love her very much ."Rohit admitted…He had a feeling that dad was rushing things ..But Rajagopal knew better than that …"what do you mean by that Rohit..when can you expect a girl with such a good back ground and caliber make such bold admissions ..You just asker and see..Do you think she would say no..If that is what you feel ..Well that was not what the picture she was giving me..The way she was so interested in being with and with me goes to prove just one thing .."Rajagopal was decided "yeses dad I haven doubts about her feelings for me…She does like me very much..She is so interested in knowing every thing about us..And she has an opinion about every thing I speak..I like all that qualities about her "So like you said let us go to her house and ask her hand for me .."
So at last Rohit was confidant. That made Rajagopal mind more happy ..he was finishing almost all his duties of his this life
They were able to find meen'shouse from the address she had given them, when she joined their office It way a bit far away from their place..Rajagopal and Rohit were both in their own world all through out the drive ..Rajagopal was indeed very excited about the prospect of getting Meena as his daughter in law ..As there need not be any preparations to be made to confront her…Because they both knew her so well ..She was the best
Rohit on the other hand was thinking about the sudden excitement that would rise in Maenads face on hearing the wonderful news..Even the other day he had made an hint about his love for her..He was sure that he saw a twinkle in her eyes then .
They reached Meena's house by forenoon.There wasn't any body in front .The door was closed…Meena's house was just an ordinary one ..Rohit told his dad that Meena lived with just her mother..As her as her father was dead since long time They pressed the calling bell and the door opened immediately ..there stood Meena .She looked more beautiful in her disheveled look ."Wow!!What a surprise ..I was not expecting you both..Rohit and sir "Meena was finding it impossible to cover her excitement .She called to her mom. Her mother was beautiful middle aged woman .The tragedies in her life and the miseries she had to undergo had marred her good looks to a considerable extent..But one could undoubtedly find that Meena had indeed inherited her good looks from her mother .
After the necessary formalities Rajagopal came straight to the subject..Mean was not present there then..She had gone in to take some coffee for her prestigious guests ..
Rajagopal made use of that opportunity to open up "Madam …I am here on an important mission …That is to ask for your daughter's hand for my son ..I have strong reasons believe that they both are in love."With that he paused to see her reactions…Gomathi,that was Meena's mother's name ,just sat there transfixed ..What better alliance could ever happen for her daughter other than this..She gushed happily "I can't believe my good fortune sir, I would be only too happy to send her as your son's bride "'with that she called "Meena come here fast your boss wants to get your permission on some thing very exciting just come fast " Gomathy was smiling widely now ..Meena came beaming in .."Yes what is it sir '? She asked happily ..
Rajagopal got up to look straight in to her eyes .."Meena..My dear will you come to my house as my son's bride ?"
Meena did not say any thing for a minute..Then with calculated words and movements she started to speak softly..There was a slight quiver to her voice when she said "Yes I will be happy to come to your house …but not as your son's bride"..She stopped she was shivering slightly …"Then Whom??" Rajagopal was surprised…Meena answered ever so softly" As Your Bride"
*

THE BOND OF LOVE

Sunil was my only son…But that doesn't mean that he was spoiled by me…No I did not pet him more than necessary .So he grew up to be a very obedient and good boy .May be that was in his genes .To tell about his genealogy ,I would have to go a bit down the memory lane ..As his dad was dead since ten years. I was the only parent for him since then .But those were the days when I was able to relax and at the same time be alert .I had a full family .I was the house wife, with all the responsibilities of a dutiful wife and a doting mother .Life was full of hopes and happiness then .rajan was the a perfect person .He had no short comings to be noted .May be he was as little careless with finance .but that was not a big fault (little did I know then that that was the major fault that did all the problems to us after a time .)
Raja died a broken man when he was just settling down, with less burdens and lesser financial problems .God had some thing else for me in store .My son grew amidst all the these problems and tribulations .But saw to it that he was brought up well. He went to lofty heights career wise. I was the proud mother to his well-being.
Things moved slowly but surely .Life was starting to look glorious and wonderful .Sunil was a very well established business man .He was working for a multinational company with all the prospective of making it big in international markets .Sunil was indeed a keen business man .every other day he had a very interesting incident to tell me about his achievements and ambitions .He was well loved by his boss as well as the subordinates .what more could a mother ask for .to see one's son prosper with all the love intact is the one good grace any mother could get in any state of mind .so that was exactly what was happening to me too
Years rolled by with happiness and merry making .every thing took the shape as we both wished .then Sunil fell in love .she was his secretary .not exactly his secretary but an ubiquitous figure ,who was there at every one's beck'n'call .That was one quality about the girl that Sunil got attracted .she never tired .that was what he told me first .. 'Mom, you should see her effervescence …She brings life in to that dull atmosphere." I knew then that my son was falling in love .but I kept quite .that would have been like rushing his own emotions .He was in a state ,when he himself was not able to name the emotion he was feeling towards her .Of course he was indeed very impressed with her ."What is her name "? I asked him one day .He was getting ready for the office .but he immediately replied "Sneha" the reply was so spontaneous that I started feeling guilty at not having asked him the same a few days before .now all my doubts were cleared. he was indeed falling in love with sneha .because how come he answered so aptly, when I asked for a name .it could have been a query for any name .how did he come in to the conclusion that I was indeed asking for the same girl's name ? That was the first sign that the chemistry called love has started acting on him. Now as a mother my duty was to find out whether it was mutual. / So that was exactly what I did too .I did not want to waste time beating around the bush .So one evening ,as soon as Sunil reached home from office l confronted him with the question ."Sunil. Are you in love with Sneha ..I have a feeling you are conflicting too much with your self to find an exact answer .why do you fear the inevitable? There is no need ..it is only but quite natural.." Sunil was dumb struck by my out burst..he must have wondered how well I could read his mind ..I waited for my queries to sink in then I was again at it .but this time Sunil was the first one to talk.." Yes mom …I am in love with her .I have a feeling that it is mutual. because I can get the chemistry as a very favorable one" " then what are you waiting for .If I had not asked about this ,what would you have done .Sunil this is not the proper way to tackle such delicate situations you would have to be more upright " I stopped for a breath .Sunil was laughing to himself. I knew why he was .because the situation was very funny and strange .it was that of a mother trying to bring out the love chemistry hidden in her son's mind but in our case it was not at all a strange situation. As such was the rapport we shared
The next few days were all very charged with excitements and anticipations .but it was all so nice..
Sneha 's parents proved to be the best couples I have ever come across .they were so overwhelmed with happiness .because every one would welcome Sunil as their son in law. /he was a gem of a boy both in looks as well as character .we were not very rich…Of course I had a house of my own..that was what I had inherited from my family .the major share of the family wealth had flown to me as I was the most downtrodden financially .my other two sisters were very comfortable financially as well as emotionally .as they both had a very settled married life .fate did not allow my husband to live long enough to keep me company and also to see his son prosper.
The wedding was a simple affair with little pomp and pleasure .Sneha lived in the same state as that of ours/so she was not in the proverbial tears when coming to our house..Thank god for that .other wise I would have felt quite guilty. I wonder why ..I know the heart burns of leaving one's parents to become a parent oneself .an entirely new ambience and life style..So I decided to take special care of my daughter in law till she started to feel at home here near me ..
Days and months rolled by Sneha didn't leave the job, although I had insisted .she was of opinion that two earning members are always better than one. I knew how right she was .so I kept quite
Seasons rolled past with break neck speed . Sneha was now 6 months pregnant. I was in cloud nine with excitement..But my excitement had an untimely death ,as Sunil came with the news that he had to be away ..The company was posting him in USA..!!!! It was indeed a very good news..But it came to the wrong place and person .Sunil too was in mixed feeling and emotions …"Mom'. He started .I know it is very difficult to arrange to take you along with me..Because they are letting only one family member with me..Either the wife or the parents "..I didn't allow him to complete the sentence …'Sunil" I intrepted"where is the problem? I did not know that the company was allowing one of the family members to travel with you .so that means you are going to be away for a long period so why think twice? Sneha is of course coming with you .don't bother about me..I can find a way out ..Shall ask nani amma to come and sleep here.." with that note the subject was closed for that day ..
The preparations for the trip abroad was going about in full swing ..I felt a kind of tight knot in my chest .yes after 28 years of being with him now he is leaving me for a foreign land and its wide opportunities..Nothing can stop the course of actions .My son who was and still is my world was about to go away from my horizon. I have to contain it all…as he was leaving me for a good cause..But I was not able to stop the stream of tears that were being uncontrollably disobedient The lump in my throat and chest was growing in to a life sized one and I felt I would burst at any moment .No nothing of that sort happened..Because some where inside my heart a soft and soothing voice soothed me. It was for a good cause he was going. his life would change for better ..Besides he is not alone. He would be having his dear wife too with him .So as a mother it is my duty to keep calm and not loose my composure…the role I had played in his life was indeed taking a back seat..And that is called LIFE..
Sunil too looked a bit woebegone..But nothing compared to the trauma I was feeling from inside..he was excited too ..Visiting a foreign land and being there for the next few years is not a thing to be taken lightly .I remember now that he was always so very positive about going abroad, earning more living a hep life ..Yes that exactly were his words since teenage..
The departure day dawned with a pluvial look .may be the nature was also being emphatic. it looked as if the nature was also crying. I was finding it difficult to cover my tears ..
The plane to USA took off with the swiftness of a smooth fly. There airborne was my dearest son with his wife. I looked up till the plane disappeared from my vicinity. There some where beyond my vicinity lives my son .now airborne..Later in USA. Still later ????
Coming back to my house was the most excruciating pain..a home that had so fast become a house that consisted of bricks and cement and some dull furtintures..Every thing had lost its meaning .every thing..My son was not here then how can they retain the glow .life seemed to have ebbed out of my house .a"OH! God..why are you giving me so much pain ..! why did all these things happen ..? I know it is a good thing for Sunil. But I was opting to be selfish instead .his happiness away from me was becoming a matter of concern for me…I had wanted him to employed here in India itself ..may be in a better financial position but what is the need of thinking it all up and still getting in to more and more heart burns ..
I had asked an old maid to come and sleep in my house she was all the more willing .
Sunil phoned me as soon as he reached his three room company guest house…Soon he would be moving in to a place of his own ..The company would arrange all those for him. He was there in a very prestigious post. My mind said a silent prayer for him and his dear wife . I had already started to await for the day when he would be taking me too to his place. It was near to impossible to be here all by myself…Come to think of it ,I missed him more than my loneliness ..I could tackle loneliness. But cannot be away from him. It was silly .but that was how I was .I preferred being silly..
Days scrawled by…More than once I sent Sunil a mail, asking about his health and well being. Sunil was fine .he was equally excited too as he was to be a father in a matter of 2 months..
Sneha gave birth to a bonnie baby in June .they named her Shwetha.i was ready to go to him. But things did not move favorably as there was a problem availing Visa. but I was willing to wait .
Sunil had a plan to settle down in Singapore as their company was opening a branch there, and he was the first option for independent charge there, Sunil was more than willing. so there was a chance that he would settle in Singapore ..And it was quite easy to get a visa too there
Morning s lacked the vim and vigor. It was on one such morning that a little bird came and perched on my widow sill. it was shivering as if it was winter ..i did not know why ,but some sympathy crept in to me and I went near the tiny bird ..it was a robin but it was writhing in some pain ..i slowly took him in my hand ..Surprisingly the bird did not flinch. May be it's pain was more than the fright..I did not know what to do. I called to my maid..she came running in .."What is the mater madam" she enquired.".I think this little bird is in pain..see it is not even flinching when I took him .don't you think it is surprising?" I was very surprised "let us take it to some doctor …" "But do you know any, Madam? "Then let us find out "so for the next several minutes I was engaged …I found one doctor .I was in a hurry..A poor little life was ebbing..I did not want that to happen Doctor examined the bird and told me not to worry as it was a little chill due to last night's rain."Why Mrs. Kumar? Are you going to worry about this little wayward bird .let him be..Just don't bother..It would rectify all by itself."The doctor ended the talk with a silly remark..
Yes it was a little wayward bird..but it did come to me didn't it? That was surely not it's way wardiness..but I did not say such thoughts to the doctor ..he had done his duty well .
A few hours past this incident, the robin was up on it's wings .chirping it flew away ..
I forgot the entire incident..but little did I knew then that I was to remember it the very next day ..or rather robin was to become a part and parcel of my lonely life ..
Sun streaks were filtering in to my room, as I opened my eyes..and the phone was ringing endlessly .it must be Sunil .so I gathered myself and ran to take the call .it was Sunil ,with a very happy sound ..He was telling me how fast he is trying to get the visa to take me too to Singapore.As I was listening to him I saw that same tiny little robin flying in to perch on my window sill..SO I told Sunil about the entire incident..Sunil thought I was really being silly.May be I was .as soon as the call ended..i ran to the window sill .Robin sat there looking at me with it's cute bead like eyes. it looked as he was trying to say thanks ..i slowly extended my hands to him ..He sat there unflinced .so that was it..I had a company now .may he too had a story to tell about his loneliness .may be he too is in need for a company ..but why me ? ..i did not ponder much on that .instead I went inside and took some grains and fed the bird ..i did not know what to give him still he looked complacent with whatever little I had to offer him. But I wanted to give him some thing that would really please him.So I rummaged my brain..Yes birds love fruits .and so that was exactly what I was going to give him .i fed him with milk and fruits..Some where inside my mind, I was feeling a little strange about the behaviour of this tiny little bird..It was not a common sight to see such unnamed birds getting friendly with human beings..Still I was enjoying this friendship. It looked as if he really enjoyed being with me..The feeling strangely was mutual .robin flew away after the sumptuous meal and made a sweet sound as he flew away. It must have been a "thank you"! .I went about my household chores, Nani amma would come back only in the evening. Because, she was working else where too .and she had a family to look after
I did not mind being alone now.I was anxious to see the little bird..But robin did not fly back that evening..I was worried..What ever was happening to me..By 6 in the evening I gave up hope ..I closed all windows and doors..and took my prayer book and went to light the lamp. did I hear that familiar chirp? Yes it was robin out side I ran to the door opened and there he was sitting pretty on the window sill ..I ran inside and took a banana and gave a little from it to him ..he started nibbling it from my palm. I felt a kind of oneness with that tiny bird .A very strange and pleasant relation ship was developing
Days passed by..Robin and me became best of friends..He would often come and sit perched on the window sill .I even made a cozy cage and bed for him ..Not that he was interested in staying there .At times he did come inside the cage. Robin was almost like a human being in most of his behaviour .he knew my moods so well…He would stop chirping when the telephone bell rang ..he listened when I talked in to the phone .Some times I would prattle to him ..At times I would tell him about my Sunil and his wife..How he was desperately making arrangements to take me ..i felt as if robin listened ardently on such a day once ..While I was telling about my son to robin, the phone rang..It was Sunil..I knew the why he was calling even before he said it …"Mamma..I am coming over. and you know what..This time when I go back you too are coming with me..Every thing has got finally settled. Now you would never ever have to be lonely .I can't just wait to be with you
So next Friday I reach there and Sunday we are taking off to Singapore .!!1"wow wow !I was not able to believe my good fortune. the wait was over ..Finally we are going to be together again.I have to decide about so many things and there were just a few days more left ..My main concern was about the disposing off the house ..I would have to ask nani amma's son to take care of that ..He was infact in to real estate too .So many thoughts were crowding in to me at the same time .I felt dizzy both with excitement and ecstasy ..In all the excitement I had completely forgotten about the tiny little robin ..He was sitting there reviewing every thing. I ran to him and said "robin my wait is over ..Sunil is at last coming to take me with him ..well, isn't that a good news?" Robin just listened ..and chirped just once and flew away I felt very uneasy ..Was it tears that were glistening in his tiny eyes? How silly I was being ..as if birds could cry!!!but I was sure I saw tears in robin's eyes. even other wise he was indeed a strange bird so stranger things can happen .
That night I was unable to sleep .I turned and tossed in my bed.My mind was wandering. It was not about my impending trip .But it was about Robin what would happen after I left him .Will he able to survive. poor little robin .I am sure he would find a way .With that consoling thoughts I slept and dreamt of robin ..Robin was sad even in my dreams ..and he was trying to tell me some thing ..
I woke with a nagging headache ..but nani amma came home early ..there were so many preparations to be done and so much has to be settled ..that was why I had asked nani amma to be with me always for another week till I set off ..
Friday was the happiest day in my life since Sunil's departure to America..there he was now with a smile on his face ..he had put on some weight ..but it did not in any way take away his handsome looks ..Marriage was doing him good it did suit him ..Sunil was also so happy ..he was anxious to see the strange bird called robin .one way he felt a kind of affinity towards robin ..because he played a crucial part in taking away his mom's loneliness to some extent .but robin did not turn up that day ..i felt a kind of lump in my throat "Mom ..what is the matter with you "? Sunil noticed my dullness .."no ..nothing son .it is just that I am sad robin has not yet turned up .""So? what is the matter with you ?"don't be foolish .After all a bird is a bird "Sunil stopped and looked my way ..he did not want to elaborate his view point then because robin was more than a bird to me .."Sunil ..shall we take him too with us? ." "What do you mean mom robin won't be able to survive in that place …as he is a local bird …he belongs here …It is strange that he got so close to you ..' ' what is so strange about it "? I was getting annoyed. not because Sunil made any bad comments ..what ever he was telling me was just the right thing .but I was getting very irritated because robin has not yet turned up .
But by after noon he was there and I was happy .I told him that I would be gone by Sunday morning
Sunday morning dawned and we were about to take off to the airport ..nani amma had come with her son ..I had entrusted the entire responsibilities of the house to her son shiva .and when some very good bid came for the house I had even given permission to do all the sale procedures accordingly ..even while I was discussing all these ,my eyes went wandering up to the window sill .where s robin?. The taxi came and my luggage was taken in to the taxi slowly..With some good byes I got in to the back seat of the car..and slowly .ever so slowly I turned my eyes to the upper window sill and what did I see there perched on the window sill was little robin ..I saw a kind of pleading in his eyes .or did I feel so? I felt as if i was leaving behind some thing precious..And I knew I did not want to do that..OH God. What will I do now ' I could not help crying ..I was not able to leave my little robin, what would he do with out me..Sunil had his wife and child ..whom did robin have ..No one..I knew that Yes he needed me as much as I needed him..that was what that little beady eyes were trying to relate. I made my decision then and there ..I turned to Sunil who was already getting in to the car .."Sunil. I am not going any where .I have to be here,,,robin needs me .."You carryon son..I shall surely be in touch telephonically Sneha, I am sure, would take care of you well.But who would look after my little robin? He needs me more now. He was the one who took away all my loneliness when you were away ..Now I think it is unjust to leave him alone ,when he doesn't want to be left alone " Saying thus I climbed out..Sunil`s cajoling and pleading fell on my deaf ears I slowly turned and opened the door and went upstairs and to the window sill..took robin in my hand and kissed him to myheart`s content .."I am not leaving you dear ..how can I '?………..
I looked at the trail of the fading taxi .But this time I was not feeling sad