thopes’s blog

Creation began with a bang,

Or it would end with a whimper?

When God designed his dream

Did he know what he would see?

The bang that fizzled into a hiss

Of a broken heart waiting for a kiss

And the poison that oozed out

from peroxided fabric of being;

Now the poor man who dyes

Clothes blue, white and green

Sits and wonders which colour

Would bring back the fabric’s life;

And God works on a new dream

Everywhere the guilt is seen

But life on earth has always been

A resilient power that invariably

Muses the Gods into a scream

So scream God, scream!

For the life of your dancing queen

Her colours never fade

They always change from

Blue, white to green and yellow

But her bosom is always back

To the same red that sustains life

With love, kindness and spring

Love and lovers test you

They reach out and touch where it’s tender

Desperate for a piece of you

And you give in, surrender

Until you can take it no more

Because they hurt for things you don’t have

And you can’t bear that

To hurt the one you love

So you leave and let them find

Their destinies which will bring them peace

While you grow little dreams

In every wound in your heart

Knowing one day you can grow wings

If you let all those wounds dry

Because adversity is only a crime

If it kills the spirit inside

Otherwise it is sublime

To rise up from the dead and be

I have always been to places where I wanted to be
I have always been the person I wanted to be
But now the boat is anchored
And the identity established
Now I would rather be somewhere else
Now I would rather be someone else
Some distant shore’s a calling
Some stranger calls to make me his own
And I am walking, walking, walking in sleep
To the dream that has arisen in my soul
The birds tweet in approval
The songs sweet in tone
I am walking as an apparition
To the open inviting door
God please give me a hand here
God I am such a moron
I have walked all my life in the wrong direction
Because I chose to walk alone
Let the world be a witness
Let the secret be known
Love sometimes hands you a map
And sets you on a journey blindfold
When the hand that guides you reveals itself
When the truth makes itself obvious
You are ready to start a new journey
You are ready to take a friend along

Muse me again in to the stupor of love, stupid again to

believe such a thing exists, when all the world revolves

in scientific rythm, just to prove it doesn’t, I’ve known

only you to defy rules of quantum physics, to reveal

to me in subatomic minute details how wonderful

love can make one feel; yet, stupid me, I wait for

anarchy to feel your sighs and breaths against

my cold skin, some divine sign to set off in me

an avalanche of esctasy; why does it come to this/

why does love peter out thinly into juices of the body,

not coagulate into thick clots in coronary arteries,

blocking life out of any heart that dares love; inspite of

science, logic, and simple mathematics of life,tell me why

I wish to stuporously love you, when reason tells me–

emphatically– not to…never ever…but really…

Always been a sucker, for things without purpose
Love, romance and poetry; flirted with all of them,
And you ask me, conscience, what good it is
A life without purpose? And I freeze;

Indeed what good is this, marriage and kids
And a mind full of fantasy, seeking thrills
Been invited to a party, do I wear blue or green
What color suits me? My eyes are black but…
My dreams, they are colorless; someone picks up
a brush and mixes prussian blue and ochre yellow
and my dreams, they turn olive green, for no reason
Just like dat, I live; Just like dat…JLT

SMS me a poem or a joke or just TC(take care, you see)
And my heart grows wings…JLT
An aquaintence’s eyes rove all over me and I
Escape into the bedroom mirror to check
Whether I still have curves that peek
From underneath the sea-green chiffon saree
That my husband picked for me
Later I cook and clean, and sing a song
The latest Rihanna hit…JLT

The kids come home, they refuse to eat
And when I finally get them to the dining table
They tease and fight, across the table and spill
the water all over and I lose it, I scream
And my dotter she cries, with accusing eyes
My son just says, Mamma take a chill pill
And I melt, Just like that…JLT

Poesy questions you pose at me

Give me a pain sweet, a pain

So sweet I have never known

Anything like it in my living

It cuts through the fabric

Of my silky existence and

Lodges between the darkness

Of  two halves of my cerebrum

And I leave you there, exploding

Like a deep meningeal pain

And then I strut around

In this ghost town

Like a twin-faced zombie

In a silk saree and a blood red dot

Shot through her forehead

Strangely I don’t have to

Convince people of my sanity

They are already convinced

Perhaps they’ll have their doubts

If they knew I had strayed

From the path well trodden

Onto the mud-track that

Leads to the cosmic muck

Of surreal entities

Vain queens, princes who worship filth and seducing soothsayers

Mythology in the making or a raging phenomenon we give birth

Burn in the bonfire of wooden words we all will, skinned and roasted

Can I ask you , Bird, why you wish to be re-born or is it your character

Enslaved to the ritual of living, sing your beautiful song, display your bright plumage?

Why, why, rise out of the ashes? Perhaps to haunt , in black nightmares

Of princesses who aspire, to live with the chosen one and reject,

Scores of souls who begged for recognition; Bird, you’ll make them kneel,

Beg for redemption or is this poetess mistaken, gullible that she is

And incorrigible in her faith– in the beautiful; she likes to suspect,

Lurking underneath, ashen words of white heat, is a poet phoenix

Whose pagan peaens is just the elixir, to slow his pilgrim’s progress

Through ages and ages, someday to be found in a poet princess’ ballad

Light me up, in the darkness of your heart, a warm glow I provide

Inhale me, in the alveoli of your lungs, perfume your imagination

Like a scented candle I’ll burn, a few moments in your life, incandescent

My transience, like guilt on your conscience, in illicit tunnels of your mind

As the darkness of the night gives way to dawn’s new beginnings

I’ll burn into a heap of shapeless mass, to be scraped up with a knife

But I’ll not leave you cold, I’ll leave your passions ignited, secretly

Like the various women you see in your fantasies, women you know

Or met on the streets or in a moving bus or passenger train, I’ll be the face

Of the night you spent in the confluence of them all, in delightful orgy

Bitter-sweet is the taste of life, love, poems and black coffee

I have all of them, laid out on the table in front of me.

Life—it’s few remaining ambitions, some broken dreams,

it’s fulfilling moments and the uselessness of the whole of it;

Love—both requited and the unrequited kind,

lovers I took along and lovers I left behind;

Poems—reflecting me in shards of broken pieces,

some beautiful images and some grotesque desires;

Black coffee—sweetened by two cubes of sugar

and blackened by the amorphous coffee beans;

Yes, we have all heard of instant coffee and instant poems

but when were life and love constant dear?

So my table is all full of this clutter;

someday I’ll clear them all and be clutter-free!

But hey! I sure do hope my brother and sister,

my life, love, poem and the coffee-mug would

at least leave behind a stain incomplete…

You evoke

A calligraphy of emotions

On my brain’s topography

So many curves and scallops

Of etched feelings

Even an in-depth analysis

Doesn’t reveal

How you do it

And just why

So I submit

As slate to chalk

And paper to pen

For you to write

Your story

Knowing

The slate can be wiped

And the paper torn

But what might

Still remain

Is the learning

Hidden somewhere

In the loving