“Gaye ho aisi raahon par tanha chodkar mujhe……ke jin pe theek se mujhe chalna bhi nahi aata”

I walked into the Reliance Fresh store not particularly interested in buying groceries or any thing. I wasn’t in need to buy any thing from that specific store. The pain of losing my husband of 9 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories. He often came with me and almost every time he’d pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. I’d always spot him walking down the aisle with the three pink roses & dairy milk chocolate in his hands. He knew I loved pink roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since he had passed on.

Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two.. Standing by the fruits section, I searched for the perfect watermelon & mangoes and remembered how he had loved them. Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was fair, slim and lovely wearing a soft green suit. I watched as she picked up a large package of cherries, dropped them in her basket.. Hesitated, and then put them back… She turned to go and once again reached for the smaller pack . She saw me watching her and she smiled. “My husband loves cherries, but honestly, at these prices, I don’t know.” I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her beautiful brown eyes. “My husband passed away two years ago,” I told her. Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. “Buy him the larger one . And cherish every moment you have together.” She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away.

I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the daily need products. I placed some daily need products in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her shiny hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine.

 As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes. “These are for you,” she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed pink roses in my arms & a dairy milk chocolate . “When you go through the line, they will know these are paid for.” She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then smiled again.

I wanted to tell her what she’d done, what the roses meant, but still unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears clouded my vision. I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know? Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn’t alone. Oh, you haven’t forgotten me, have you? I whispered, with tears in my eyes.
 
He was still with me, and She was his ANGEL.”

Reading newspaper in the office while it’s raining heavily….having hot coffee, when one of my colleague asked me, “Maam! so what are your plans on this Friendship day?” I smiled at her & my mind just go back to all the fond memories of the time I have spend with my friends. I know all of them are far away from me, but the distance really doesn’t matter….they are really closer to my heart J

People of my generation are getting married, having kids, moving out of the country, getting fancy jobs with fancier job titles, dealing with in-laws…in short going with the flow of life! Slowly, life is descending upon all of us in a big way.

So here goes…some of my 28 year old life’s greatest lessons. Some are mine, some are borrowed. You may not agree with all of it, but trust me, it’s all been tried tested and experienced first hand

- Make sure the little kids play as many outdoor games as possible; later in life, its the stories about pitthoo, tipi tipi tap, dog in the pond, hide-and-seek, cricket, basketball, football etc. coz all these things will make them smile later in life.

- Days seem veryyy long; it’s the years which pass by in a flash.

- Your parents will be unreasonable at times…hell many times. But when you grow up, you figure out the reason behind the unreasonable-ness…or maybe its just that you’re on the road to being unreasonable yourself.

- One of the worst things in life is when two close friends are aiming for the same thing and one succeeds and the other doesn’t. It’s equally tough to deal for both parties. But if a friendship transcends this situation, it’s a strong one.

- Stay in a hostel ONCE in your life. It gives you a million lovely warm memories for life. And makes you extremely creative and innovative.

- Lying to your parents is a horrible thing; it can make you feel super guilty and can haunt you for life.

- Hugging is awesome! It really has curative properties. It can make a good day better, and a bad day tolerable. And it shows that someone cares.

- Vacations with friends are the best! Location is irrelevant. People will do crazy things, fight for strange reasons, argue over silly things, and laugh over sillier things. It’s always a lot of fun!

- Fighting with your younger/older sibling is a part of life; it’s like breathing. And there are times when you wish you could exchange your sibling for a better, more well mannered one. But there’s no one else in this world who understands life in your household like your sibling does, and definitely no one else in this world who understands the quirks and idiosyncrasies of your parents like your sibling does.

- Surprises are great…if planned well And even if they backfire (hehehe), it’s always fun for the stories.

- Watch a cricket match (  India V/s Pak) with a room full of friends, cousins who understand NOTHING about the technicality of the game; the emotions they exude, the shrieking, the shouting, the giggles could beat the scientific analysis of any cricket commentator!

- No family is like a sooraj barjatya family; there are weird characters, people who will be mean, people who don’t care, and people who are a big bore. But what matters is that in times of extreme joy and extreme sadness if those people come together - if they do, then you’ve got a winner of a family!

- No matter how old a person gets, they still love it when you wish them on their birthday.

- Watching a good movie, reading a good book, listening to a good song; they make your day…but you don’t feel truly happy unless you share them with others….I wish I could L

- Friendship is the most insane and the coolest relationship in the world; simply because there are no conditions. You can be friends with anyone; someone really old, someone really young, someone who’s exactly like you, and someone who couldn’t be more different. There really is no bar in friendship.

- A successful marriage is not merely an absence of tragedy/abuse/bad things; it’s the presence of a million other wonderful things…believe me….

- Read! doesn’t have to be the booker prize winner or Osho…things like delhi times/HT city/ filmfare /back page of india today can also be extremely informative. But just read!

- No matter what a terrible time you think you are having in school and college you will eventually remember it and say “God those were good times!”

- Compliments are nice. Be generous when complimenting others, it makes their day. And be gracious when accepting compliments, it makes the compliment giver feel nice.

- Very often, it is those who you think will be around FOREVER with whom things don’t work out. And the people who you become closest to are those who you never in a million years thought you would even have a decent conversation with. It’s a phenomenon which is impossible to understand but it is a fact of life.

- Never listen to “tujhse naaraz nahi zindagi” from masoom when going through a bad day; it makes you feel even worse and can make you depressive (But I really do love that song).

- You are really lucky if you have a wonderful extended family, full of aunts/uncles/cousins to pamper you; it’s during times of stress and trouble when you realize what having so many people around can do for your mental state.

-Friends can come in all shapes, sizes and friendship has many degrees. There are those who you have to tell every detail to, those who are awesome to watch a movie with, those who you can be intellectual with, those who you can be silly with, those who you can talk to for hours and still feel like you haven’t even begun, those who make your day with a single SMS or phone call or ping on gtalk, those who you have nothing to say over the phone to but still love to meet up and talk to in person; the deal is, you love and need all of them!

- You can’t make every single person in your life happy with every single decision of yours. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. Someone will always have complaints.

- The people who have never seen you cry/shout/irritated/depressed/ in a bad mood- haven’t really seen you. And those who have- they’re great coz they love you nevertheless

- There is no ideal work place- either the boss will be bad, the work will be crappy, or the colleagues will be mean, or the office will be too far or the pay will be measly….thank God I love my work place & my work to the core…..So, all of you around there jus think about it, we are really blessed cause we have job atleast which gives us opportunity to grow as an human being..…think about those who are not lucky enough…..

- It’s very often that life’s greatest secrets are revealed in the middle of the night; so once in a while, talk to people around that time

- Power cuts/long walks and drives are an awesome time to bond with people.

- Take LOTS of pictures/videos- it may seem silly at that time, but they’re wonderful to look at once you leave that moment……tried & tested….for me they are my treasure….

- All families are messed up in some way or the other; some may be too conservative, some may be too lenient, some are too crazy, some are too boring. But they’re the people you take for granted, the ones who love you unconditionally, the ones who are there for you without you asking, and the ones who know you better than you know yourself. In short, you cannot survive and live to tell the tale without them

- Send long emails; they make people happy. And maybe you’ll receive long emails in return too…..

- Everyone thinks their problems are a big deal and they most often are. Never demean someone else’s problems……try to be a little humble atleast…..it wont hurt….

- Sometimes it’s important to say the truth; it can save someone from embarrassment. But it’s equally important to know when not to say the truth.

- A girl and a guy can be friends, best friends in fact; but it is rare.

- Everyone has a strong positive trait. Everyone has something nice about them. But it’s not necessary for you to like everyone

- Go to India gate at night; it really is one of the bestest sights in the world.

- Looking out of the window & rushing to terrace when it’s raining heavily; it’s a LOT of fun! But do make sure you dry off immediately and have a lovely cup of hot tea or coffee later on….

- There will be times when you’re upset randomly, when you feel low and you don’t know why. It happens to everyone, and the moment passes just as quickly as it came.

- When you’re working on an important report chances are very high that your laptop will crash, the power will go before you have saved, something strange will happen to your internet, etc etc. So save like a maniac and email yourself copies constantly; it’s better to have an overloaded, overpopulated inbox than not having a single copy.

- Never judge someone by their pedigree. Just because someone is from a lower rung college or a small town does not make them dumb and naive.

- Don’t be overtly sympathetic towards people who have gone through a tragedy in their life; it makes them feel worse. Be nice and sensitive, but treat them normally…..try to be genuine not fake in your reactions….coz u never know….what future holds….u can also be a victim of a tragedy anytime…it’s all destiny…so never ever try to pour salt on someone’s wounds…

-You have to have taken some classes in life;

dance/music/painting/learning a new language…
whatever…they are horrible to go to, but you always look back fondly. And hey, it teaches you something

- The world is a small place. You will run into the same people, or people related to people you know, over and over again. This can be good when the people are those you like; and not so good when the people are those you don’t like.

- Maturity and age have no direct relationship.

- Sugar candy is messy, and will make your tongue all pink and your skin all sticky; but its damn fun to eat specially at India gate…

- Something I read somewhere, which touched me:

‘You never stop caring. Even after a broken friendship or a huge fight, you just can’t stop. That’s because you’ve given a piece of your heart away. It’s never coming back to you. And that’s why the worst thing in life is to lose a friend, a friend that means the world to you, a friend that you put all your trust and faith in, a friend that you believed in from the start, a friend that took the centre of your heart, a friend that you’d die for, a friend that you wanted to cherish for a lifetime. But it’s important to remember the ways they touched your life. It makes things easier.’

- Living with people who are not family is a learning experience; it tests your patience, your adjustment skills, your ability to handle different sleeping/eating habits and strange mood swings. You will fight with people over silly things like blankets, a bucket of water, notes, messy rooms, clothes, money- but it’s these things which are a true test of character and relationships.

- Try to mean it when you say “I love you”. But even if you don’t mean it and have to say it to make the other person feel better, say it with as much feeling and emotion that you can muster up; it goes a long way.

- Life is a one way street; you can look back but can’t ever turn around. So try to give everything your best shot, there’s no point regretting and saying “oh I could have done that” later.

Would love to hear any wisdom anyone else has to share

*Pic Source ~ Internet

23.07.1947 ~ 23.07.2010

Happy B’day Dad

I know physically you left us, but my heart still feels your presence all around. Missing You so much…..

It’s a dad kind of thing to protect you
And see that the world treats you right,
To offer his willing assistance
Any hour of the day or the night.

It’s a dad kind of thing to stand by you
If one of your bubbles should burst,
To make sure you know you’re important
And know that with him you come first.

To give you his all but still wonder
If there’s something more he could do -
It’s a dad kind of thing to keep showing
That he’ll always be there for you.

* Pic source - internet