Archive for March, 2009

ENJOY HONESTY OF MAN…..

March 31st, 2009

 

 

We Are Honorable Men!!!!!!”


If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

“One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so THAT’S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE .”

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That’s the story, and they are sticking to it! - “WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!!!!!!”

English is a funny language…..

March 31st, 2009



In Tamilnadu , there is a well known person by name , Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges, always speaks in English. That college students have collected & published a book by name “Jappier’s Spoken English”
… Njoy ………..with his……… …..English. ……… ….

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great “Jappier’s Spoken English”

# At the ground:
———— —–
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her…{Means: girl with specs please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
———— ———
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
———— ——— —
You, rotate the ground four times…
You, go and understand the tree…
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO …..(?)

# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict about this )
———— ——— —
Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should not wear T sirt , U shirt , V shirt.. but if you want to wear …. remove it when inside the campus and put it out side the campus

# Sir at his best:
———— —
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school… (to that boy) - “Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”


# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
———— ——— ——— ——— ——-
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet , boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You , meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)

This one is cool >> “Both of u three get out of the class.”

Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today…

Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..

Take 5 cm wire of any length….

Last but not the least some Jappier experiences

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At Sathyabama college day 2002:

“This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy”

At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

“No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police”

VERY IMPORTANT : ok enjoy this English , but don’t forget your English !

I request to take this article sportingly and not seriously.

LOVE OF GOD…..

March 28th, 2009

A beautiful illustration about how God takes care of us.


THE FAVOURITE CHILD

The woman had three sons and six daughters. Her day was full of chores to fulfill the numerous demands of her growing troop. She was always busy with cooking, washing, cleaning, dusting ironing and also counseling! One day her youngest son fell sick. She called up the doctor and requested him to drop by and examine him.

As he checked the boy’s throat, he asked the lady, “Madam, how many children do you have?” She hesitated for a moment, then said, “As many as I can take care of!” The man watched her as she sat beside her five year old son, who was burning with high fever. She dipped small hand towels into a basin of water, turn by turn and used them to wipe the boy’s burning brow.

From the doorway, her teenaged daughter, called out, “Mama, where are my hairpins?” “They’re in the brown box on the console, honey.” Just then her other son popped in, “I have to stay back after school for football today, I need an extra
Tiffin, Mom.” She smiled and said, “Yes, darling I remember you have a football match today. I’ve packed an extra sandwich in the white box along with your Tiffin. It’s lying on the table, next to your breakfast. Now, run along and let me talk to the doctor.”



The doctor admired the ease with which she was in command of everything around her. He asked her, “Which one of them is your favourite?”


She said simply, “The one who needs me most.” “Which one?” he asked in surprise.

She said, “The one who is sick; the one who is sad; the one who is lonely…. the one who needs me most … That is my favourite child!”



WHO IS THE WINNER???????????

March 28th, 2009

Winner is NOT one who NEVER FAILS……But one who NEVER QUITS!!!”

Need a proof? Read on………………. 10 Real Life Incidents and Learn not to Quit in life and always have a hope in life that you will be successful.
Failures are stepping stones for success

1) Officials rejected a candidate for a news broadcasters post since his voice was not fit for a news broadcaster. He was also told that with his obnoxiously long name, he would never be famous. He is Amitabh Bachchan.
—————————————–
2) In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition
for the executives of the Decca Recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, “We don’t like! their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out.” The group was called
The Beatles.
——————————————
3) In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, “You’d better learn secretarial work or else get married”. She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.
—————————————–
4) In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired a singer after one performance. He told him, “You ain’t going’ nowhere son. You ought to go back to driving’ a truck”. He went on to become
Elvis Presley.
—————————————-
5) A small boy–the fifth amongst seven siblings of a poor father, was selling newspapers in a small village to earn his living. He was not exceptionally smart at school but was fascinated by religion and rockets. The first rocket he built crashed. A missile that he built crashed multiple times and he was made a butt of ridicule. He is the person to have scripted the Space Odyssey of
India single-handedly. He is Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, President of India.
—————————————–
6) When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers.
After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said,
“That’s an amazing invention, but who would ever want to see one of them?”
—————————————–
7) When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, “I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process”.
—————————————–
8. In the 1940s, another young inventor named
Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947, after 7 long yearsof rejections, he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, NY, the Haloid Company, to purchase the rights to his invention–an electrostatic paper-copying process. Haloid became
Xerox Corporation.
—————————————-
9) A little girl–the 20th of 22 children,
was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contracted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with aparalyzed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year shedecided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl–
Wilma Rudolph, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
—————————————-
10) A school teacher scolded a boy for not paying attention to his mathematics and for not being able to solve simple problems. She told him that you would not become anybody in life. The boy was
Albert Einstein.

MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

March 27th, 2009

MOM Knows Everything

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner…who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Kumar’s, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Kumar volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver chutney jar. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?” “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother,

I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the chutney jar from my house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the chutney jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,

Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Sunita, and I’m not saying that you do not’ sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now

Love,

Mom.

Lesson of the day . Don’t Lie to Your Mother…especially if she is Indian!

Very nice story must read this……

March 26th, 2009

The Silversmith Story


One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.


The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.” She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.



The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?”
He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it”

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.


That's why I am sharing this with all of You right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they’re going through, they’ll be a better person in the end.

“Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.”

GOD IS WATCHING OVER US…..

March 26th, 2009

No Blackmail !! God at the Window!


There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with, out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved. In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said,” Sally, let’s wash the Dishes.” But Sally said,” Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.” Then she whispered to him,”Remember the duck ?” So Johnny did the dishes. Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said,” I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.”

Sally just smiled and said,” Well that’s all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help.” She whispered again,” Remember the duck?” So Sally Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help. After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s, He finally couldn’t stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.”

Thought for the day and every day thereafter? Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done… And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ….whatever it is….You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing…..

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God’s grace and mercy that we are saved.

NEVER LOSE HOPE……….

March 26th, 2009





Hope

If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope.




If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower, then you still have hope.




If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, then you still have hope.




If the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.




If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope.




If the rain breaking on a roof top can still wake your sleep, then you still have hope.




If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder, then you still have hope




If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope.




If you give people the benefit of a doubt, then you still have hope.




If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, then you still have hope.




If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.




If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, then you still have hope.




If you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.




If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, then you still have hope.




If you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.




If you can look to the past and smile, then you still have hope.




If, when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile, you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase… “yeah….BUT..” then you still have hope.

Hope is such a marvelous thing. It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break. It sustains us when nothing else can. It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we’d rather give in.




Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage.
Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it.
Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.
Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured, and something that will refresh us in return. And it can be found in each of us, and it can bring light into the darkest of places.
Never lose hope.



KINDNESS

March 26th, 2009

Paid in full with one glass of milk


One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." He said, "Then I thank you from my heart."


As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year's later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.
After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, and then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She began to read the following words:

"Paid in full with one glass of milk"

JUST 4 FUN

March 25th, 2009

Don't keep complicated names

A Indian guy named ” Anantharaman Subbaraman ” arrived at the New York airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name, he got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet??

They said that they have been calling him for last 2 hrs as


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‘Anotherman Superman’

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