13 years have passed away
seems just like yesterday
Time may hide my sadness,
Smile may hide my tears.
Your memories I treasure still,
Your place in my life no one can fill.
My heart is filled sadness
and silent tears still flow.
What it means to lose you,
No one will ever know.
Missing U so much daddy….
Archive for May, 2010
I wonder sometimes what gives me high….
Reading books….gardening…..playing with kids( though I branded them as terrorist…specially vidhit, nirmit & arpit)…..or travelling like a rover…..though I realized all my passions quite late in my life, as I started serious reading in 2008, gardening not yet and travelling in 2010….never realized that all these things gave me the much needed high….the high I am looking into meditations…reading books( all sort of) which helps me to elevate from that regular core working….my so called dull life style….as my friends branded me….Manju plz yaar go for a makeover atleast….and I reply that “makeover for what and for whom…let me live my life for me only…..and if u don’t like me as I am, then I can’t help it….but I will not change myself anymore for anyone”….while working in my AC cabin on all type of excel sheets, coloring them as an artist….but down under wanted to run away from this so called corporate life….wanna feel that heat on my face, that dust , that wind ……wanna explore places in my dream list…..so that no more regrets left before I die…..life has given me another chance to reclaim my life…..till date I was living my life for others, but now left alone on a crossroad of life, and that was a blessing in disguise indeed.
I always think I was born to explore the places…and in these 28 yrs of my life, I completely forgotten about it…..then suddenly discover that ….each seed has to learn only one thing, to wait for the right season for the spring to come. There is nothing that the seed can do, it can not bring the spring, spring will come on its own accord………
A little philosophical touch is added robotically in my thought process….don’t know how, when and why???
Existence knows what is needed, just as the weaver knows that black threads are needed with the white threads to create beautiful patterns, so in my case, may be God wanted me to be happy in spite of all these difficulties.…..the first basic thing about happiness is …..it happened when you were looking for something else….this also happens with me at times…..not able to understand the plans of God Almighty….but I am sure that nothing can be meaningless in this world….it is a cosmos, it is not a chaos. My experience of life is just as a tattered page of a novel, I read it but it makes no sense because it is just a small fragment, I don’t know the whole story…but once I know the whole story, then this page will become comprehensive, then this page will become coherent, meaningful…….
am I right God :))
to be continued….