Just read this poem..like to share this with all of you…

 

I’m sitting here in my room, looking at your picture.
Wondering why you couldn’t be a part of my future.
Uncontrollable tears stream down my face,
while my heart beat starts to race.
Asking god why he took you from my life,
it was more painful than stabbing me in the heart with a knife.
I still needed you here
you were the one to make everything so clear.
you are a part of me and I am a part of you
when you died a part of me died too.
I never knew how hard it was to loose someone you love
until the day you went to heaven above.
Even though I can’t see,
I know you are up there watching over me.
I miss you more and more everyday
and all I can do is pray.
In my heart you shall forever remain.

Today is b’day of my husband Mukesh, Though he left me alone but he taught me the most difficult lesson..making the transition from loving in presence …to loving in separation…..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUKESH (7.9.1978  ~ 8.1.2008)

May you always walk in sunshine

And God’s love around you flow

For the happiness u gave me

No one will ever know

It broke my heart to lose you

But you did not go alone

A part of me also went with you

The day GOD called you home.

A million times I’ve needed you

A million times I’ve cried

If love could only have saved you

You never would have died !

Missing U a lot

I wrote this poem in 2001, when I was getting married, At that time I was in college….my father read this poem last year when he found it in my college diary….my mother called me up in the night & asked me what have U written in your college diary ?  your dad is crying..then I take back my diary from my mother’s place..sharing this with all of you….

I wonder amidst tears

Which down my cheeks flow

Who was it, who decided

That daughters must go

I am God’s gift to you

I hope your heart remembers

Father! How can you send me away where my feet would tread on embers ?

I was born out of luv in your home

Which I thought was ours

Can’t you stop me from going

Is everything out of your powers?

Till yesterday I was your little girl

The apple of your eye

Papa! You need a heart of stone

To say Good Bye.

I don’t know when the change came

This bud blossomed into a flower

Pray, tell me Father

The year, the day, the hour.

It’s hard to reconcile

To come to terms with reality

Can’t you hear my pleas

And have a little pity.

I hate the world for doing this

For telling you I have come of age

Your house is the only safe place

The world is a lion’s cage.

When I was little

You held my finger

And taught me how to walk

How will you feel when you see me

As down the aisle I stalk?

I try not to think of the

Lovely years gone by

A mammoth effort does it take

But the memories go on increasing

Like the candles on my cake.

You said I was your pearl

Your precious one

Giving their treasures to others

Since when have people begun?

You shouldn’t have loved me so much

If you had to send me away

I can?t bear the thought of parting

So forever let me stay.

All along you shielded me

From storms & all sorts of dangers

How can you send me among aliens now

And marry me off to a stranger.

I have never been out in the world

Without you there beside me

Who will be there with a lantern now

Show me the way & guide me.

I was always believed that I was yours

I just can?t think of someone else possessing me

No matter how much I try to understand

That it is for the better

And that GOD is blessing me.

Why do relationships change in life

Round each blend,

I wish each one had one family

From the beginning right to the end.

How soon will you forget me

When I left the town?

In winters will you rememeber

The little girl

Who forced you into the gown.

Will you ever think of me

And miss having me around the house

Papa will you remember the little girl

Who was scared by a mouse?

Father with those old times,

Will you ever think of catching up

Our quarrels the cold wars

And finally the happy patching up.

I will miss hugging you

And sitting on your knees.

You can keep all my toys & books

Each one has a story to tell

Which will take you down memory lane

And in your mind ring a bell.

Who will show me the brightest star in the night sky?

Who will make his arm a pillow for me

And sing the lullaby??

Papa! I want you to know

That this lady in the eyes of the world.

Will always be your little girl

Always full of love for you

And looking up to you

THE DARLING FATHER OF THE PEARL…...Luv u papa..

 

 

 

 

Sharing a short practical story with you ..

 

It’s another morning…

What the Hell .. Again I have to go to office.

Ohh, this is me… I shouted having a glance on my snap in today’s news paper.
But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??

Strange…

One sec… Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don’t remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.

Its morning now, ohh….. It’s already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?
I will be late for office.

Where is everyone…??? I screamed.

“I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check.” I said to myself.

So many people….. Not all of them crying…
But why some of them crying…

WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor…

“I AM HERE” … I shouted!!! No one listen.
“LOOK I AM NOT DEAD” … I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.
They all were looking me on the bed.

I went back to my bed room.

“Am I dead??” I asked myself.

Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?

I found them in the next room, all of them were crying… still trying to console each other.

My wife was crying… she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his mom was sad.

How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do care of him. ??
How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..??
How can I go without saying my parents that I m … just because of u ??
How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I have done most of the wrong things in my life… thanks for being there always when I need them… and sorry for not being there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears…
Ohh… he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.

I went there.. And offered him my hand, “Dear friend… I just want to say sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me.”

No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry… even then!!!
I really don’t care for such people.

But one sec…. it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness… AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying…

“OH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS…”
I just wasn’t to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much I love them.

My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
“YOU R BEAUTIFUL” I shouted.
She didn’t hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never said this to her.

“GOD!!!!” I screamed… a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried…

One more chance please… to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my life….

Then I looked up and cried!!!!

I shouted….

“GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!”

“You shouted in your sleep,” said my wife as she gently woke me up. “Did you have a nightmare?”

I was sleeping….
Oh that was just a dream….

My wife was there… she can hear me…
This is the happiest moment of my life…
I hugged her and whispered…. “U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE…. I REALLY LOVE U DEAR”

I can’t understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes, still I m happy….


“THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE.”

MORAL: You cannot start again with “love all “as like Tennis Match; it’s your life match.

 

 

I still remember the days we spend together Mukesh use to celebrate each & every festival with great enthusiasm, it was in Feb 2007, I was sleeping ..and in the midnight when I wake up , he is not on the bed I look around and then I found him in the balcony throwing balloons at the rickshaw wallas ..I asked him ..aap raat ko 1 baje kya kar rahe ho he replied holi celebrate kar raha hun aur kya ..tum bhi aa jao .maine kaha ..holi to subah hai, aap to raat ko hi shuru ho gaye ..he said dekho maine 12 baje ke bad shuru kiya tha ..tab to dusra din shuru ho jata hai na?? I can't help smiling at him I wish I could turn back the time bcoz those moments were the best moments of my life ..i still remember my first holi after my marriage ..my brother in law was sleeping sound and I draw moustache with permanent black ink on his face ..when he wake up .he screamed like hell and mukesh put pucca rang in his hair .wo bhi puri bottle .

Jaise holi ke rang , chahe jitney bhi pakke ho waqt ke saath w omit jate hain waise hi mere saath hua bahut koshish ki maine ki pyaar ka rang meri zindagi me hamesha rahe ..par waqt ke saath ..saare rang dhul gaye ..aur zindagi berang ho gayi

Dil ko aadat si ho gayi hai chott khane ki

Bheegi palkon ke sang muskurane ki

Kaash anjaam hum pehle se jan jaate

To koshish bhi na karte dil lagane ki

Thanx to all of you for reading my blog, and leaving such a wonderful & inspiring comments ???all my work is dedicated to my husband MUKESH?..last year I lost him in a car accident??he left me without even speaking a single word???

The span between life & death can be as quick and sudden as a puff of wind that blows out a candle…..but the candle does not suffer after darkness comes…….it is the person left in the dark room who falls and stumbles

After losing Mukesh…..and that too in a friction of second??I wonder sumtime how God cud be so cruel???I am also with him on that ominous day….I was also badly injured in that accident & bed ridden for 3 months??..but what hurts me most that nobody told me that Mukesh left me for next 2 days??Till date I have that regret that I am not able to see him for the last time

Grief comes in one size extra large (XXL) .If we tuck it away in the bottom drawer, where it never sees the light of day, it remains exactly the same???On the other hand if we wear it, feel it , talk about it, and share with others, it is likely that it will become faded, shrunk and worn ,or will simply no longer fit ……..

So here I am writing all the hogwosh I can write….This blog is very close to my heart as it rescues me from all the phobias…..

Thanks everyone

Manju

If GOD answers our prayers, he is increasing our Faith……

If he delays in answering our prayers, he is increasing our patience;

If he does not answer, he has something better for us………

 

Today one year have been passed when I lost Mukesh in cruel hands of destiny…….

REHNE KO IS JAHAN ME SADA KOI AATA NAHIN

PAR JAISE TUM GAYE, WAISE BHI KOI JATA NAHIN……..

One year have been passed away

Seems just like yesterday….

Time may hide my sadness

Smile may hide my tears…

YOUR memories I  treasure still,

YOUR place in my heart no one can fill.

My heart is filled with sadness and silent tears still flow..

What it means to lose you no one will ever know……..

 

At that time when I was bed-ridden for two months, I started writing blogs, it really helps me to release my stress & I have got so many friends to share their thoughts with me. THANX TO ALL OF YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE WITH ME, FOR SHARING YOUR WISDOM WITH ME.

 

Regards

Manju.

 

This is an old story hope all of you will like it……………….

Mother, what can I give you?



After having reached the height of his career a man felt a duty to repay his mother back for all that she had done for him.


He asked, “Mother, what can I give you? What can I do for you? I sincerely wish to repay you for the sacrifices you made for me and for all the love you have showered upon me.”


Mother looked surprised and said, “Why do you think about it? It was my duty so I did it, you don’t have to repay me. Even if you want to, there is no way a man can ever repay his mother.”




Despite her continuous refusal to ask for anything, the son persisted. To put an end to the discussion, she said, “All right. If you must, then tonight you sleep on my bed, with me, just as you used to when you were a baby.”


He said, “That’s a strange thing to ask for, but if it pleases you, I will.”


As soon as he fell asleep, the mother got up and brought a bucket of water. She poured a mug full of water on his side. Feeling disturbed by the wetness under him, in his sleep he moved away to the other side of the bed. As he settled down, his mother poured another mug of water on the other side. In his slumber he tried to find space towards the foot post of the bed.


Sometime later he woke up feeling that this part of the bed too was damp. He got up and saw his mother, with the mug in her hand. He asked angrily, “What are you doing mother? Why don’t you let me sleep? How do you expect me to sleep on a wet bed?”


Mother said, “I slept with you, when you wet the bed in the night. I would change your nappy and move you to the dry part of the bed, while I slept on the wet side. You wanted to repay me. Can you sleep here even for one night with me on a damp bed? If you can, I’ll take it that you have repaid me.”


How eloquently the story above demonstrates that we can’t even begin to repay the care, love and attention a mother showers her child throughout the course of life. May Almighty enable us to be of service and comfort to both our parents when we can and may He grant us PATIENCE to serve them during their old age, ameen.