Numerous polls and studies the World over have documented the fact that most people believe that spirituality plays an important role in their health and quality of life. Spirituality is often used interchangeably with religion, although the terms are not synonymous.

Whereas religion refers to a set doctrine of faith and guiding moral principles, spirituality can encompass many different concepts, including belief in a higher power that works in the universe, a sense of interconnectedness with all living things, or simply an awareness of the purpose and meaning of life. Although it shares many aspects with various forms of religion, spirituality can be nurtured outside religion; in fact, some agnostics and atheists may choose to describe themselves as “spiritual.”

Actually, I make my case less against belief than what I believe belief to be. Were religion and faith as I perceive them, you would be an atheist, too! But I am not an atheist!

As I tell you what I believe in, my feeling for the universe is close to the sacramental vision central to authentic faith.

My impressions of religion resemble fragments of statues that half naked pundits with pot-bellies and sporting proudly a very bad case of body odor are hell bent on decorating and spewing shlokas and mantras whose meanings they are totally oblivious to or don't really care about. Nevertheless, they have vibhuti plastered all over their body, rattling the bell till the cows come home and hurling flowers at the poor idols! If only they could speak! The pundits would be booked under Human Rights violation! These ceremonies seem clearly void of any spiritual or religious connotations, and most often people go through the motions of it because it would anger the gods if they didn't!

Is that what being truly religious all about??

But the loose fragments of my characterization of faith cannot be re-assembled into a statue, for they are random pieces that will never pan of the same whole.

What I dislike about religion is what real religion is not like. What I like about spirituality is what religion is really like.

Let me plaintively describe the quarantine-like isolation nonbelievers experience in a culture in which professed religious affiliation remains high in all polls, and seemingly religious terms, slogans and aspirations crowd the friezes of public buildings and weigh down the paragraphs of political orators.

Millions of believers, however, are equally estranged from the superficial flaunting and manipulation of religious symbols in our nation’s public life.

What are the irritating shards of alleged religion scattered in various paragraphs? They include arrogance, righteousness, self-deception and/or lying in reporting religious belief and practice, a presumption to special treatment, lack of tolerance, harsh judgment of the moral possibilities of nonbelievers, and susceptibility to subornation for political purposes, that is, a quick-and-dirty way of getting everybody on the same meta-bandwidth … to do battle for a putative 'greater good'. I roll my last fragment with the confidence of a player who knows the dice are loaded, challenging the notion that religion is innate in human beings. So, too, I say, “Is skepticism.”

The characteristics that make religion unacceptable to me would also be rejected by some of our more popular god men with whose religious statements I am unhappy. Even the least lettered of believers understand that genuine faith appeals to their best rather than their worst instincts.

You think I've mistaken religion for what the psychologists described as “extrinsic faith,” beliefs inherited with the grand piano that also stands unexamined and unplayed in the living room? Such faith is not faith but a social ornament with no impact on a person’s decisions or actions. Extrinsic believers can be highly prejudiced because their faux religion does not disturb their consciences. This is very rampant among many religious sects the world over. Let’s not forget the religious intolerance in the name of religious beliefs and faith in a Nation that prides itself on being secular and tolerant and the land of the Mahatma!

“Intrinsic” religion, tested against a life’s contradictions, evaluates the morality of every decision and makes conscience a constant companion. Far from pretending to have all the answers, this faith asks tougher and more searching questions. It is incompatible with racial and religious prejudice. As St. Teresa of Avila wrote of sin and prayer, you can’t do both sincerely; you must give up one or the other.

Most often I don’t believe in godmen … any miracles but the miracle of life and consciousness. … The world … was shaped by the again genuinely miraculous; let’s even say transcendent, hand of evolution through natural selection.

Read Ursula Goodenough’s "The Sacred Depths of Nature" for its "religious naturalism,” described as “a profound appreciation of the genuine workings of nature" … in all it's staggering, interdependent splendor. Call it, if u may, transcendent atheism.

I would like to implicitly describe the universe as a sacrament, a great sign of an unfolding mystery that respects as it speaks to the still-uncharted depths of human beings. One day, I would like to write of wonders, an essential element in a sacramental view of the universe. My friend hesitated to make me uncomfortable or condescend to me, but real believers also believe that real religion embraces the gift of creation as the sacrament of the mystery that encompasses us all.

I would surely be comfortable with one of the greatest of popes, John XXIII, who spoke spontaneously on the first moonlit evening of Vatican II, “Everything is a gift of God. Everything.”

As I sit at my desk facing the blue furniture in my cabin listening to Tull’s “Crest of a Knave”, waiting for time to pass by let's not forget the work that's swelled up the mail box and my table yet I can't seem to concentrate.. waiting to keep my appointment with my doctor today curious to find out what the MRI reading has to say!

Was it chance that made me go to Mumbai?? Was I destined to delay my departure by a day?? Was it my luck [very bad one] that we were the first in line at the traffic lights??? Was it fate that put me in that accident?

If the answer is "yes" to all of the above… then how many of us were meant to experience the same event? was it purely by chance that we were all at the same place at the same time? or were we all destined to meet at the accident? or was the almighty giving us a jolt to bring us back to reality? or was it becoz of a time warp - were the wrong people at the wrong place at the wrong time?? Or was the accident meant to teach or make me understand or see the bigger picture and the others were just collateral damage!? 

Tends to throw you off your balance trying to figure things out. We human beings consistently refuse to believe that what happens to us is a matter of sheer chance. We like to think that we are the shapers of our destiny, that what happens in our lives results from our choices and our actions. And yet there is not always a clear connection between the quality of our efforts and the reality of our circumstances. Determined not to surrender our destinies to indifferent forces, we, as human beings have surmised that volitional powers [exercise of will] other than our own are active in our lives. In ancient Greece, people believed that the fates and gods made determinative decisions, attesting that our histories are not lacking in purpose even when they seem beyond our control. In contemporary American society, they wear angel pins to reassure themselves that they are not without supernatural guidance, despite the apparent ambiguousness of life. And in modern India, we still place a lot of trust and belief in talisman’s of different shapes, sizes and colours.

I had a debate with my friends on Fate or Destiny or just God's hand the scheme of things! The idea of “intelligent design” defeats itself. It says that life forms are too complex to come about by chance. According to abiogenesis and evolution, the first life form was a simple single- cell creature. According to “intelligent design,” the first life form was/is complex, intelligent and powerful.

If a simple single-cell life is too complex to come about by chance, then how could the “intelligent designer” have come to exist? The only way to believe in “intelligent design” is to ignore the origin of the designer, because intelligent design says that the designer is too complex to have come to be.

Did you get that??? J

If u did then tell me - Is it true that our life courses are dictated by chance? And without a certainty of God’s providence, life would be unbearable?  Even those who have not found it reassuring to conceive of God as willing destructive events have sometimes held God partially responsible, blaming God for God’s absence or accusing God of abuse rather than taking the agnostic stance that God might simply not be involved at all.

And yet the idea that somehow, God is the governor of the events of the universe is also viewed with great suspicion, for it seems to supplant the agency of human beings.

My friend asked if God is ultimately in control of all things, what role do human beings play in the shaping of history? And if God determines the circumstances of our lives, what does it mean for us to exist as contributing partners in relationship to God?

For those who value human subjectivity, these approaches are often inadequate. At best, they might convincingly contend that human beings exercise “free will” in relation to the accidentals of life’s existence, with God eventually incorporating each mundane decision into the divine plan. What has never been proven (for perhaps it is impossible to prove) is that we can exist as distinct subjects in mutual relationship to a self-sufficient God, or that human beings can be creative contributors to a preordained history. I hope to be able to present this debate a little differently and propose a revised understanding of the divine sovereignty that upholds the integrity of the human subject.

You don't have to agree, but hear me out.

To cut a long story short, I say we, human beings, are free to be human precisely because the sovereign God is free to be human. Human beings are free to thrive as relational, influential, and life embracing selves because the sovereign God affirms in God’s very being that humanity has its own integrity. This hypothesis is developed by considering the event of the incarnation, describing God’s sovereignty as it is revealed to us in God’s humanity and exploring how the nature of our relationship to God substantiates that our existence as human creatures is valuable.

A panentheistic understanding of the relationship between God and the world reflects God’s freedom as it has been expressed as (1) affirms that human beings are both receiving and contributing subjects in the divine-human relationship, (2) insists that human decisions and actions influence the shape of future history, and (3) recognizes the dignity of human capacities and experiences.

Is it then safe to arrive at the conclusion that God’s sovereignty is understood as the divine freedom, as is also God’s grace?

And should I say that we understand that we are encompassed in the being of God as it is to recognize the “yes” of God, to be assured that we are accepted, to acknowledge that our lives are neither commodities of chance [fate] nor prearranged notes in a divine orchestration [destiny]?

And that we live in the presence of God with the assurance of God’s empowerment and solidarity?

Why?

Well, because I believe that God is human with us, I know that our human limitations, and the possibilities for relationality, responsibility, and passion that we offer, contribute to the reality in which we participate. For we are a distinct part of that reality, and are neither able to be separated from it nor be subsumed in it. When we know this truth-that God in all his incarnation [single or many] is also human - we will be free to be who we are as human beings embraced by the being of God!!

Our existence, then, is not at the mercy of chance. But neither do we give up our integrity as human subjects in order to guarantee that our lives have purpose. Because of "who" God is rather than "what" God chooses to do, we are both engulfed by God’s care and agents of our lives. Because humanity is part of the divine reality and not a concession on the part of God, we can respect the subjectivity of God without being ashamed of our own subjectivity. And also because agency does not belong to God or the human but to both in distinctions, human beings can draw power in their relationships to God even as they create their own unique creations and develop their own strategies for living.

Because of who God is in God’s very being, as revealed to us in his incarnation, is to exist in relationship to us, to work in partnership with us, and to celebrate human existence as a member of our community, we can know that the events of our lives are not arbitrary and that we are free to be who we are as relational, influential, and passionate human beings. Because the sovereign God is free to be human, we too can claim the freedom to be ourselves.

A gentleman was once visiting a temple under construction.
In the temple premises, he saw a sculptor making an idol of God.
He noticed that just a few meters away, was another identical idol. Surprised, he asked the sculptor “do you need two statutes of the same God”.

“No” said the sculptor. “We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the final stage”.
The gentleman examined the statue. No damage was apparently visible.
“Where’s the damage?” asked the gentleman.
“There’s a scratch on the nose of the statue”, said the sculptor .

“Where is the idol going to installed”? asked the gentleman.
The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar approx 20 feet high.

The gentleman asked “When the idol is going to be 20 feet away from the eyes of the devotees, who is going to notice that there is scratch on the nose anyway”?

The sculptor looked at the gentleman, smiled and said, “God knows it, I know it and now you know it”

The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not. Excellence is a drive from Inside, not Outside.

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: “Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease”?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

 ” The world over — 50 million  children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis,

500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the  grand slam,

50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,

when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD ‘Why me?’.

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD ‘Why me?’  “

Happiness keeps you Sweet,

Trials keep you Strong,

Sorrow keeps you Human,

Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going…
 
 
 

It will take just a few seconds to read this and change your thinking.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room ‘ s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind ‘ s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away..

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Science, once seen as the enemy of spirituality, is now making common cause with it in one area, in a search for meaning and purpose.

It seems absurd to think of humans influencing distant stars, but science tells us now that the simple fact of our existence does turn out to have profound implications for the ultimate questions. According to a growing number of hard-nosed physicists, the laws of nature are so finely tuned, and so many “coincidences” have occurred to allow for the possibility of life, the universe must have come into existence through intentional planning and intelligence.

Twenty or 30 years ago, science had closed the door on spiritual speculation. The divine was seen as wishful projection, existence as only an interaction between chance and necessity, and human behavior as inexorably determined by fixed variables. That has all changed in recent years.

Mornings we all get out of bed and it’s a matter of putting your feet on the floor then standing up. Yet the prerequisites for this act are complex, including parents and a line of ancestors stretching back. An ultimate condition is the existence of sentient life in the universe.

We know of at least one instance. We also know, thanks to 20th-century scientific discoveries that the development of sentient life depends on a complex sequence of events. Stars and then planets must have formed, then those first generation stars made of simple elements like hydrogen and helium must have forged in their fiery furnaces more complex elements like carbon, zinc and iron. Then those stars needed to age and explode, thereby releasing those complex elements to be folded into the mix that formed second- and third-generation stars like our sun. Planets heavy in those elements must have also developed, where biological evolution can take place.

This is our story: We are literally made of fossilized stars.

We used to think that we humans were at the center of the universe. The light-giving sun and stars circled around us - or so it seemed - so obviously we were important, living at the center of things. Copernicus’ discovery in the 16th century that, counter to appearances, the earth rotated while circling the sun began a revolution that gradually but inexorably dethroned humanity as the center of the universe. The idea we were specially created yielded to evolution’s explanation.

It sank in gradually, with one new scientific discovery after another, that we’re not privileged characters, just inhabitants of a garden-variety planet circling a run-of-the-mill sun in our galaxy’s backwater, sentient and aware but certainly not at the center of things.

As science has pushed back the veil from the workings of nature, religion has typically invoked God to explain the gaps in our knowledge.

Yet Charles Darwin gave us the possibility of an alternative explanation. We have come to expect that scientifically possible questions will receive scientifically stateable answers, however difficult those answers may sometimes be to understand. No one should shed a tear about this since the God of the gaps was only a pseudo-deity anyway He faded away with every advance of knowledge, like a kind of divine Cheshire cat.

God is involved with creation in its entirety, not just the bits that are difficult to explain. Theology’s job is to stand side by side with science, offering its own insights as humans continue to push back the frontiers of the unknown.

If this underlying physical foundation for the natural order did not gradually evolve by the process of natural selection into its present format, if indeed this foundation of life-supporting laws and constants emerged out of the Big Bang, perfectly fine-tuned and ready for action, then it means that some other explanation besides Darwinian evolution has to be found for the perfect setup of nature’s fundamental constants.

The anthropic principles describe a universe whose origins and purpose are still veiled in mystery, but one that seems to favor life, beauty and contemplation. Some feel that we have only just begun to plumb the depths of that mystery.

Dominican Fr. Cletus Wessels, author of Jesus in the New Universe Story, says that: “In light of these recent discoveries, some might say the emergence of human life is the primary goal of the universe story. But we humans have emerged late, much has gone on before we arrived, and certainly the story has not ended with us. It goes on into an unknown future, perhaps for billions of years."

Even to say that the coming of Jesus or the last avatar of Lord Vishnu is the ultimate goal - is a short-sighted vision of the story. The life, death and resurrection of our respective God's has had a powerful impact on cultures the world over, but the God of the universe story unfolds within the vastness of the unknown future in ways beyond our comprehension. What is essential is to recognize the intimate, loving presence of God unfolding from within the whole universe.

There is a real point of convergence between science and spirituality. Each is telling us something about the miraculousness of our existence and we choose to ignore it!

Well, it’s that time again. A new year full of promises and possibilities. You can almost hear the diets being started and the cigarettes being stamped out. I love this time of year .

Okay, this week’s column was going to consist of my prognostications for 2008, where I would accurately predict exactly what we can expect over the next 12 months. Except for a few blunders over the past 20 years or so, I have been the most accurate prognosticator of high technology trends (you are in a trance, you believe everything you read from me?you will wake up refreshed and happy! NOW). But instead of showing off as usual, I’m going to reveal my New Year’s resolutions.

Why do predictions when resolutions are more meaningful? The Internet is all about sharing, and maybe it’s about time we all shared common resolutions. Here are mine.

- Quit Prognosticating. I was searching through some old posts and I saw that a lot of disgruntled readers identified prognostications of mine that were so far off-base that it was actually humiliating. I predicted, for example, that OS/2 would represent a big platform change. Wishful thinking? Stupidity? The latter, apparently. Because of all the IBMers and OS/2 mavens who led me astray, I’m forced to continue to write to survive. I was also too critical of Java (”Born Loser”) as well as some other solid trends. Java is not the world beater that it was predicted to be, but it remains important. These are but a couple of bonehead predictions that I made over the years. So I will never again predict anything!

- Stop Ridiculing Others. There was a post from a reader who did a point-by-point rebuttal to a column I wrote. This rebuttal is hilarious. I said "this" and he said "that" and he further went on to say that I “didn’t do my homework.” I’m always amused at how often people say I don’t do my homework. Who assigns this homework anyway? I’m out of school, and homework is a fairly dopey thing to worry about. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop ridiculing people for their sincere opinions?no matter how off-base the opinions are. My new motto is: If you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all.

- General Bashing. This is the big one for me, and I especially need to stop bashing companies. What good does it do me to bash companies? I actually don’t completely bash companies. I mildly criticize a few of them, and that is perceived as bashing by some sensitive folks. No matter; if people think it’s bashing, then I will stop doing it. People don’t really realize that I admire the companies that I supposedly bash. Microsoft, Apple, IBM, HP-Compaq, the phone companies (all of them), Linux (in general), Sun, Amiga (I love Amiga), Intel, AMD, Motorola, and others are companies I respect. What I’ll do from now on is heap praise upon all these companies over and over, so people feel better about themselves.

- Specific Bashing: Apple. I resolve to go an entire year without making critical comments about some Apple computer or some Apple strategy. I visited one of the Apple stores and found a packed store full of happy people. I would love to have a smile on my face just like theirs! Oh joy! Life is good.

- Specific Bashing: Microsoft. All my complaining about various Microsoft strategies and certain defective products has accomplished nothing. Maybe looking at the positive side of things would be a better idea! Microsoft, you go girl!

These are but a few of my New Year’s resolutions. I also have “lose weight” on the list. If all goes well, I will faithfully stick to these resolutions, and beat my previous record of four weeks!

There is something magical about the promise of a new year: Endless possibilities lie ahead! Resolutions can motivate us to make tiny or massive changes in our lives, or they can be a reminder of the subtle changes we’ve been making all year long.

Having written all that I have . I'd like to add here that as a rule I never make New Year’s resolutions. Never! If there’s something about myself that I want to change or something that I want to do, I do it. I’m working on myself all the time. The company I work for was my major career goal. Within the work, I set little goals for myself. I haven’t thought of any big goals lately. I’m pretty content.

If I were to write an epitaph for this civilization it would be: ‘Created to love people and use things, we ended up loving things and using and abusing people.’

Spiritual hunger has manifested itself in what has become an addictive society. Computer games and excessive bondage to the Internet have replaced the earlier bondage to TV. Children lose the social skills of communicating and forming relationships and friendships. They cannot communicate with us, and we cannot communicate with them.

We live in an age of disposable products and that includes relationships. Sex has become a product that is accessible, instant and easy. Building a relationship demands effort and love. Yet only relationships can satisfy the human spirit because God is himself a relational being. In the Judeo-Christian tradition it is believe that God is seeking a relationship with his people; and they with each other. Hence Jesus said that a fulfilled life is to know the Father - not just to know about the Father but to have a personal relationship with him. Jesus is saying that a fulfilled life is a life in relationship not in isolation.

The Christian tradition contends: God is love. St John wrote: ‘He who abides in love abides in God and God in him.’ In Greek and all the languages of the Middle East ‘abide’ is much more than living with. It is an agricultural word: rooted in. To be rooted and grounded in relationships, in family and society - that is, I believe, the one thing that will feed the human spirit.

Yet how many marriages go adrift because one partner thinks the other partner can totally fulfill them? No one can ever fulfill you. You weren’t made to be fulfilled by any other human being. There is no one and nothing that can ultimately satisfy us except God and through him the rest of his creation.

How do we need to change today’s culture? I want to look towards something that I call ‘a materialistic spirituality’.

We’re not angels, we cannot relate to God or to each other in a purely spiritual way. But neither are we simply naked apes with a more developed intellect. Geneticists tell us that we are just one per cent different from the animals that came before us. But that one per cent, I think, is both the problem and the solution for the human race. It accounts for this spiritual quest, this desire to be fulfilled. One should not seek to bypass or split off the material from the spiritual. That’s so often the quest in the ‘flower power’ religions, and means that you end up saying material things don’t matter. The point is to bring the material and the spiritual together, thus raising the material into a higher reality, giving it a more permanent significance and meaning.

When you’ve seen through everything for what it is, there are only two alternatives, cynicism or contemplation. A contemplation which is not escapism but sees God in everything, God in the midst, God in the mess, God in the mystery of transformation.

Am I pessimistic about the future? I am if we continue down that road of materialism versus spiritualism, which will ultimately degenerate into naked secularism. That’s where we are at the moment. There is this yet more excellent way of holding the two together, holding the spiritual quest but seeking it through material responsibility, through a new scale of values in our society, knowing the worth-ship of each other as well as of other things. A sacramental spirituality!

Loners have long had a bad rap. We are characterized as outcasts and undesirables–old maids at best; at worst, potential "Unabombers".

Psychologists now say that depriving yourself of solitude [spending time with yourself] is in the cause of many manifestations of psychological and physiological distress. Being with other people for long periods of time, no matter how loving, wonderful and interesting they may be, interferes with one’s bio-psychological rhythm.

This rhythm is a combination of the body’s circadian cycle and the hormones and neurotransmitters that affect factors such as mood and sleep patterns. Each of us creates our own inner pulse to help us synchronize with the solar, lunar and other cycles of the outside world. The constant presence of others can literally throw our rhythm out of sync.

As a person with a great natural leaning toward solitariness, I have felt this interference all my life. But I never knew it had a name or an explanation. Eager to find out more, I  read a book by a psychologist Ester Schaler Buchholz, Ph.D., who in her book, The Call of Solitude, introduced the concept of alone time, describing it as “a basic need,” as essential and universal as the need to bond with others. Buchholz comes to this belief through a series of infant studies and analysis of historical and anthropological data, as well as studies on how meditation, rest and relaxation bolster the immune system. When we don’t get enough solitude, she says, “we get very out of touch with ourselves; we get forgetful; we get sloppy.” Depending on our personalities, we can get angry, anxious and depressed as well. Modern life, filled with cell phones and GPS, with e-mail and express mail, with televisions that offer 300 channels, is far more tumultuous than in the past.

Perhaps because solitude today is less available and yet more necessary than ever, defending it has become something of a trend. In the online magazine To-Do List, Sasha Cagen coined the term "quirkyalone" to describe someone who is “deeply single” and would “prefer to be alone with [his or her] own thoughts than with a less than perfect fit.”

When I enter an empty room alone, the door closes behind me with a sweet chime of relief. Every neuron relaxes, and my mind and body feel free, finally, of all constraints and pretensions, of all pressures to please and impress and entertain other people. I may sit down to read and write; I may play music; I may wander in circles from corner to corner, watering plants, playing with my dogs, sorting through paperwork or looking at the bilious colours of the walls. But somehow the whole world seems less urgent, more manageable. Though in social situations I am often the life of the party, it is only when I am alone that I feel fully myself. In the presence of others, I never quite see or taste or understand things all the way. Others may get anxious with the closing of the door, but I get a sense of peace. I feel most comfortable, though not necessarily happiest, being by myself.

 I have been alone to lunch and dinner, seen Lage Raho MunnaBhai and Happy Feet on my own… been shopping alone too… been to a pub as well.

Not everyone finds such comfort in solitude. Through a combination of genetics, upbringing, and social stigmas, some people enter solitude with fear, dread or distaste. The door to the empty room shuts with a gloomy thud and they reach immediately for the phone. My friend [not mentioning her name, coz she just might be read this article] is one of those people (so unlike me) who simply thinks and feels better when people are around. Solitude is not enjoyable for her.

Even a “people person” like my friend probably requires, and generally constructs, some measure of solitude, whether she’s aware of it or not. It’s the idea of alonetime that scares people. But the reality is that most of us fit it into our lives, in chunks large or small. When we pray or meditate, take a nap, or just step into a quiet elevator, we are addressing our need to break away from the world, if only for a moment.

From a very young age, we have both the desire and the capacity for solitude; babies stare into space when they need to disengage, and toddlers and teenagers say, “I can do it myself” or “Leave me alone.” Don't be scared of it. This time apart helps us to develop our confidence, competence and resilience. It also allows us to exercise our imaginations and creativity, resources that all of us, not just professional artists, need in order to solve problems and navigate through life.

Solitude puts the individual in touch with his or her deepest feelings and allows time for previously unrelated thoughts and feelings to interact, to regroup themselves into new formations and combinations, and thus to bring harmony to the mind. I believe that solitude helps connect us to the worlds of nature and spirituality.

Then there is “the healing aspects of alonetime”: the restorative, refreshing and recharging feelings we get by stepping back from the overwhelming stimuli of every day. There is the immeasurable delight that comes from being unproductive, from having the freedom to daydream, to think or not think, to open the senses or close them down, to let ourselves wonder and wander, to process the past or make plans for the future, or just to loll about, to simply be in the world as it is.

Regardless of the dosage, solitude is a deep, soothing and a persistent call in life. Those well practiced in the art of solitude know that aloneness is not the same as loneliness. When we’re alone, we are actually in good company; we have our own undivided attention. Heeding the call of solitude provides us with an opportunity to get to know ourselves better and to explore our inner world without distraction.

NEVER GIVE UP!