I lost you in
the midst of the life

Got u back
in a midnight street.

I lost you,
when we were in all happy

Lost you
making all we, in tears.

 

 

Tears in
years, looking for you

Every where
I saw you,  but like in mirage

Ever I believed,
I lost you from me

Ever I believed, 
you will not be back

 

 

I see my
friendship always like this

Some times,
lost in some day light

Some times
come back late in moon light

Make my
sadness, to full bound joy in tears.

 

 

Now I feel
the love in us, grown more strong

The bond we
shared tighten closer

We are more
friends than, when I lost u

The break
made us closer, closer for ever.

 

Now I  don’t want u way, from me never

Lost anywhere
in day or night

I want u be
some where I can call u,see u

Some where
as a friend, as I wish u, my friend.

I looked inside me, deep in there was a silence,

the darkness of the silence made me happy,

i was not alone in that darkness, but some virtues

and the serene 'inside, made me to feel I'm still chaste.

'

I found my thoughts bud inside where ever I looked ,

deep in that ,was shining the glow of my' soul,

the fullness of the feel 'made me content,

even I was good sometimes and bad some other.

'

In mind I tried to find what makes me poignant inside

What make all obstruction, deep in me' and went vague ,

So I looked outside , world mocked at me ,acting busy

Built on human thoughts, I saw a big obliteration.

'

I looked at nature, my earth, plants, birds, sky and clouds

There I saw the answers of all my questions, choice on ones

doomed all, no one for the right from nature, for own answers .

alone , I found all theories for me, my own philosophy and existence .

'

Life, a mad drama, drama of' mad actors, actors of mad urge to live.

So Never do a think of other's believes ,right and wrongs

try not to change them, who may 'call u, make u, mad,

even all are, act the role when you are on life's stage.

'

Fail to make the answer for life, failed by the questions of life

Who in me id finding me, what the world is finding in me,

What I am finding in this world! the unseen hidden program

That lead, the world and me- the moonstruck laughing me.

'

venmonybimalraj

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'Sweet Tears

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Oh tears when I cry, you are close to my heart,

u stand for my inner sorrows, come to console

Close to my eyes, to symbolise and tell

that I weep, of' a inner felt deep sorrow.

'

Oh tears when I' miss u in closed eye lids,

I feel poignant, that we never meet again,

when you go away I feel free,

and feel sad, u never come back again

'

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Oh tears when u walk off, you touches my cheeks

'Like to sooth me, so like a quill,

You go, like you never wish, not looking back

No wish to leave me in my snag,

'

Oh tears when you slide down you leaves,

your wet path over, like a wet paining wound

And I feel like you are crying of sorrow that

No mind you have, to leave me alone

'

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Oh tears i feel so sad, and cry of some obsession

That i lost and that never come back, but you too

Leave me in that lonely pain, that part hearts away

though we are so bonded, like in a blood line.

'

Oh tears you are from my life, my self and soul,

I am your origin, we two are more bounded than any body

You have only me, as mother and father, my sweet girl

'the symbol of grief, the utmost derelict beauty.

'

Oh tears you are clear like a crystal, pure like snow drop,

You are cuter than anything, carrying many meanings,

The beauty of poems, sorrow of stories, break point of -

All relations and bonds of love, that moves till death.

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Birth and death make u friend, happy and sadness make u friend,

Empty and full stomach make you friend,

someone Near and far 'make u friend,

something inner in all make u friend.

The street was empty when I was walking in the late night,

The wintriness of road was mounting up the flesh, paining,

The song of night darkness filled in the air and in my ears, and

Stray dogs were barking at me, that echoed in my empty stomach.

 

The long bed of laying street beggars were on the road side,

Few were asleep - drunk ,abusing and shouting, at me also,

I was also asleep with a reason that made me walk, the night walk,

The wind was cool and still I was sweating and was thirsty .

 

I was hasty some times slow, lost the rhythm of mind and foot

The light rain drops were sparkling in street light, I let mind cool

But the burning inside made me sweating, and shivering- not of breeze

Tears made friends with rain drops, rolled down laughing at me.

 

Why I ?  where I was ? asked myself, with an ashamed inner look

Then let a weep, which summed my doings in past for others around,

I never thought of me, did nothing for me, now when I fell down

I have only this street to walk free, none to console, no limelight.

 

Relations I made with all but not with me, words wrecked them in ease,

Lived for all not for me, life mocking at me asking  who are you now?

When money made me, I made money for fun and found on value on it  

Now money made fun on me, made me, for money  with a lot value to it.

 

If I could save some for me, that could help me now where I will go,

I prayed, I plead to god, but in vain ' the hungry stomach filled with air,

Whom to beg, but me, its only in dark I can, I looked the darkness around

How far I walked, how far I walked from where I started and how far more.

 

Where and when I will start walking for me, who will walk with me,

Now in this darkness I have to decide, next dawn is to make new dawn,

Die or not, no time decide, few far the waves sounding like calling me,

I sat on the park bench, looking up the Moon, and the lean stray dogs.

 

Night is more cool now, time is too late, few carts passing the street, I closed eyes

And told me to make the last decision, I repeated it, forgetting my past

I have to make life first only for me, then for others, to share the happiness

Next dawn I woke up from sleep, more happy, to make a life for me.

The first smile I remember is my mother's, when I was two, too young,

That was the day, all celebrated my second birthday, she was very happy,

I remember her face, a happy mother's face, with a smile of satisfaction, like

Every mother's smile, when she watches and feels happy of their kids.

 

The second smile I remember is father's smile when I called him papa-

For the first time, months after my second birthday, I saw that rare smile,

His eyes were filled with tears, his lips were shivering, but he was smiling,

The happiest moment he had, after the joy of my birth, as a happy papa.

 

The third smile I remember is my sister's smile, when I was of three.

When I cried for a last candy she had, with love but with hesitating mind

She offered it to me with a smile, when mom told her I am her lovely brother

Who will bring you lots of chocolates when grown up big.

 

The fourth smile I remember is my grandma's, when she called me

My name for the first time, she kissed me many times and smiled

Looking into my eyes she wished me long life and said

The name will become famous all over the world, and then smiled big.

 

The fifth smile I remember is at school on first day from my head master,

He gave me a sweet and a sweet smile, asked my name

Asked me to sing a rhyme, when I made a mistake, he laughed

With my parents, and told me to be always a good student.

 

The sixth smile I remember I got from my class on the first day

My class teacher she was so lovely, took me in her arms smiled

Asked my name and said to tell bye to my parents,

Made me sit on my chair near smiling riva my first friend in my life.

 

The seventh smile I remember is from my love, when she told me

She loves me a lot; I was speechless before my blue eyed blond,

When she gave me love letter, and I kissed her hand and promised

She will always be with me forever, as my love and life for ever

 

The eighth smile remembers is from my boss when he gave my first salary

The smile when I gave it to my mother, when she gave it to my father

When mother told me to buy some candies for my sister,

The smile when I gave big box sweets to my sister…

 

The ninth smile remembers is from my girl on our wedding day,

When I tied the knot, she looked me on eye tips, and smiled,

She seemed a winner of her wishes, the smile that beat me

The smile that leads me on my walks that gave courage always

 

The tenth smile I remember is the one from me, made me to write this

Yesterday when I looked in mirror seeing face glowing in happy,

Remembering all hundreds of smiles I got and I gave…  till date

All the days through I have grown up to make all share a nice loving smile.

 

photo : my son Deva.