VT’s blog

“I am fine, alive and kicking. Big time.” That’s my usual response to the phone calls I make to friends and family back home. Obviously, the tele-question from the other hemisphere is the same,  “Being the ratass Indian that you are, haven’t you already managed to get your arse kicked by those Rugby playing Aussies? You know all the ‘racist attacks’ reports in the media and all that.”

Mind you, being an Indian and living in Australia is not exactly easy these days. Surprisingly, not because of Australia itself, but due to the Indian media.

Let me explain.

As I write this piece there is a story about an Indian toddler being lost and found dead a few kilometres away from home. The kid was a visitor’s kid, not a resident’s kid.  Incidentally, on the same night, another Aussie kid was found dead too. Now. I HOPE this is not portrayed like a racist violence by the Indian Media.  I have lived in many corners of India and I know such events don’t even make it to the Page 10 of a newspaper. And believe me, the Aussie TV reporters actually looked truly sorry and almost apologetic. I would be maha happy if the Desi ‘know-it-all’ journo showed even 10% of the sensibility and sensitivity. 

I am not even trying to make a casual and ill-informed blabber about blaming it all to the 4^th estate. I am not talking about madhouse ‘Breaking News’ TV channels either. I happen to be one of the old world guys who still prefer the print media. 

That’s where I felt disappointed by the cover story of my fav mag, Outlook. I did not like it at all when Outlook came up with that cover story called ‘Why the Aussies hate Us’ or some crap like that. They, in the Aussie TV channel flashed that cover story and they even had an interview with the editor, Vinod Mehta (a guy I truly admire). But on that night, he almost managed to sound like the Thackrays, the clan he claims to despise. To say it in the Dilli lingo, ‘he cut a sorry figure’. He did not even have his journalistic facts right.

Anyway, this will not end. So let me move on and say what I have felt.

Let me begin with the blatant confession. We NRI desis suck. Big time. At least the majority of us. Every desi bugger I meet in these countries only talk about three topics – (1) money (saving), (2) traffics rules (“take exit 5.  Do u know what an ‘exit’ means?”) and (3) about keeping something called an ‘Indian Culture’ alive (I could never figure that one out). Very few desis actually try to integrate with the local culture; we live a very ‘boxed’ existence. Quite unlike the other Asian and African immigrants who (in spite of their linguistic shortcomings), do try to integrate. Simple things like trying to dress as per the local customs and norms.

Speaking specifically of the Australian so called ‘racist’ violence against Indians. I have spent some time in Melbourne (the eye of the storm) and had the opportunity to see things at ground zero. I talked to few of my Indian friends there. They all had one common thing to say – “The guys who are getting beaten up deserve to get beaten up.” Sounds insensitive.

The observation went on in similar vein:  the guys who are getting battered are students. It is student violence, not racist violence.

Now, Australia is famous for many things – sports, beers, bikini babes, and its vast natural wonders. But Australia is not exactly known for its academic excellence. No Ivy League stuff here, really. It does not take much common sense to figure out the kind of the kind of students who generally land here. Very few are actually interested in studies. Those who are, study and do well. Whether from Bhatinda or Warangal, the other significant variety of students who came here have only one purpose in life – to somehow secure an Australian PR (Permanent Residency).  For the life of me, why else some Indian student will come here to do a Six Month Diploma is Hairdressing?

These are the kind of students who resort to hooliganism, and carry the usual Indian sex-starved stereotype of assuming that every White woman is dying to get laid. They try to do funny stuff with the locals and end up in not-so-funny situations.

One Indian taxi driver had even more appalling stories to tell. Being a Punjabi who has been driving taxis in Melbourne for many years, he obviously has seen the city’s underbelly, up close and personal. What exactly happens in those dingy lanes, no one knows better than a cabbie. This guy told me that many of these fights are actually fights ‘within’ the Indian students themselves. As he put it dryly, ‘ladki ke liye chaaku baaji’. He also mentioned horror stories of Indian students being involved in immigration related frauds, blackmailing etc. He even narrated a story of an Indian guy here who tried to burn his own car (to make an Insurance claim) and ended up burning himself and getting wounded. The story was carried out in the Indian media as a racist violence. The Aussie media showed that event in great details and they even had video footage of this guy buying a can of petrol on the same night. Obviously, Indian media chose to ignore that.

As usual, every story has two sides to it. It is true that some actual incidents of violence have taken place. Some of them are racist in nature too. But those are rare and far between. It is more a matter of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It can happen in any city in the world. If you try to mess around with a group of drunken Rugby fans on a Saturday night, you don’t really expect to get away with a kiss on the cheek.

One simple question, “why is this happening only to Indians?” Why not people from other countries? Chinese vastly outnumber Indians here. Why doesn’t it happen to them? The usual smug repose is that “because Indians are smarter Aussies and do better then them. That’s why the Aussies feel insecure.” This may be partially true. But this is not the complete truth.

Australia is not USA, the Land of Opportunities. The brightest Indian brains land up in the US, not down-under. There has to be another other reasons for the Indian student hullaballoo.

On top of that, I get to hear that Balasaheb, the self appointed King of the Isle of the Manoos, has been as usual foaming at the mouth against the so called ‘racist’ Aussies, and demanding not to allow their cricket team to play in Mumbai. Now, somebody who has built an entire political career based on one single emotion called hate, [hate the Madrasis (utha lungi, baja pungi), hate the Muslims, hate those screwed up Bhaiyas (doodhwalas) from the North], does not really have much moral authority to cry foul over other people’s hatred. It does sound bizarre to me when he declares Aussies to be ‘hateful’. Is it a question of pot calling the kettle black?

Time for some serious look inward? Certainly time for Indian TV channels to go back to their ‘Little-Prince-fell-into-a-ditch’ kind of news stories and not add to the fuel and make life more and more difficult for Indians abroad.