whiff of fresh air

Once a while it is fun to tell your children what they did as little ones. The joys and heart aches they gave parents, their mischief, their fears, their innocent child talks et al. All these are preserved in my mind, or their little notes or scribbling and I do share those carefully preserved memories and notes with them occasionally. Recently I came across a letter that my daughter wrote to me a few years back, when she was 10 years old.

Having a working mother and a father working in a different city, the brother and sister duo had each other to play, fight and share everything the whole day during vacations. An independent girl that she was, my daughter, with a brother 4 years elder to her and bossing little sister to obey him, found it tough at times. Many times she used to call me up at work and complain, for which again the elder brother chided her. But then he was a calm and mature boy and I was at a loss to side either of them. It made my task very tough with my son saying that I loved my daughter more and her saying that I loved my son more!

One day when I reached home weary from work, my daughter, with tears brimming in her eyes, handed me this note. Inwardly I smiled at the innocent letter she wrote to me, with a special note at the beginning "Do not show, tell or scold chettan (elder brother)".

The illustration of her anger and the graph showing her anger level left no doubt in me about her future academic performance.

I am an early bird, but not my kids who barely manage to wake up, after umpteen calls, just when I leave for my office at 8.45am. Naturally I am unable to serve them breakfast on vacation days, unlike school days when they are off to school at 7.30am. Dosas, Idlis, Upuma, Idiappam or the rest don't figure on their breakfast list and so its making cheese sandwiches on their own. The letter below explains what happened on one such day.

Good going girl, I hope you learnt some basic things in life from this incident. People will call you names or whatever they feel (Ref: He also called me vati (mad or crazy). IGNORE it, you do not become what someone calls you IF you have the conviction you are not what they call you but what you feel within you. Be strong. And my very dear molu (daughter), fights between siblings in childhood only bond the love further and when you look back on these incidents later in life you can laugh it off and that's why I am posting this in my blog with your permission.

Psst …psst . wait till the day he gets married, maybe your bhabhi and you can have a gala day teasing him about this! And if you need more women power I too will join in hehe!

Sugar and Spice and everything nice .??

Circa 1991

Kids are attracted to TV jingles and ads, as every parent would have seen, and my son was no exception.  Those days his favourites were the Britannia ad that went " Ek din mein Bhaiyya jaisa khoob badi ho javoongi .." with a kid sister swinging her brothers cricket bat and the  "I love you Rasna " ad.

Happily settled in his father's lap, one of the rare occasions he gets since Dad is away slogging at construction sites, he said in a matter-of-fact tone " Dad I want sister like that" He was pointing at the cute looking girl in the Rasna ad.

"Did you hear him ..?"  hubby dear asked.  " Why not put in an appeal to the CMD? "  I joked ….I was getting fed up of his site postings which rarely gave us a time to be together.

Finally GOD answered his prayers and I was carrying. I was unsure what GOD had willed ' a boy or girl for us but my little son was damn sure it was a girl. He started doting on her before she was born. His love for his to be born sister was so great that he didn't mind sharing his favourite chocolates with his Amma in the fond hope that it would find its way right to his sister, who was comfortably sleeping in Amma's tummy.

D day arrived and he rushed to hospital to see his newly born sister. He had a puzzled look on his face as he exclaimed " Mom this is not a girl!!" He had expected to see his sister with curly locks, bindi, kajal and all other feminine paraphernalia. I smiled and gently explained the difference to him.

He was the perfect brother, enquiring about his sister's health, impatiently waiting for her to grow up to the age of the cute little girl in the ad who runs after his brother for his cricket bat.  Months passed by. Things were different. His cute little sister started pulling his hair, hitting him, scribbling on his neatly done homework, screaming and a lot of other mischief.  The poor little fella was totally confused and at his wits end to manage her.

One day he came to me and with a serious _ex-pression on his face asked me " Amma, are all that is mentioned in nursery rhymes true?" I wondered what my little one was thinking so hard about that he lost the smile from his face. I looked at him as he continued " It says here that " Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice " he said pointing to his book.  I had a hearty laugh as he looked at me still puzzled.

A few days later, with the little typhoon asleep, he came and sat on my lap when I whispered in his ear " Kannaa.. do you want one more sister?"  He screamed a big NO . It still rings in my ears!!!!!

Circa 2004

As years rolled by his little sister changed for the better. Did he notice the change in her? I am sure he did. She on her part never had to doubt the credibility of the nursery rhymes for she soon realized that little boys were made of  " frogs and snails and puppy dog tails". 

He soon discovered the joys of having an obedient and loving sister.  Gone were the days when she bit him, broke his toys and scribbled on his notebooks. Now every command of his was obeyed diligently, every chocolate of hers was shared with him (although not vice versa) he had to say and she obeyed.  Lost pens, erasers, pencils all were promptly replaced by the systematic little sister who was always ready to share all what was hers. "I lost my pen can you give me one of yours,  molu get me a glass of water," and as his sister did every chore lovingly he discovered the joy of having a sister.

Stepping into his teens slowly growing on to be a young man, he discovered how still sweet a sister could be. She was a companion to him choosing gifts for his girlfriends, commenting on his dresses and hairstyle, appreciating his singing, cooking up a sandwich or making lemonade for his friends who drop by, literally doing anything at his beck and call. He glowed with pride as his friends commented on his sweet and obedient little sister.

As a matter of fact, it was me who felt alienated, as both of them became thick friends discussing the latest music and movies It made me yearn for the presence of my hubby dear, who was still slogging at construction sites, since I could relate more to him than my teenage kids. Many a time I found myself being the butt of the jokes of the brother sister duo.

Yesterday as he again got some errands done by her, I watched amusingly as he hugged her and sang "Little sisters (girls) are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. "

I resisted myself from asking him if he wanted one more sister in the fear that he would ask for more !!!