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Is baar nahin…

December 1st, 2008

Lyricist Prasoon Joshi wrote this poem and wrote, “I believe it should reach as many people as possible because it is our collective pain and voice”.

Is baar nahin

Is baar jab woh choti si bachchi mere paas apni kharonch le kar aayegi
Main usey phoo phoo kar nahin behlaoonga
Panapney doonga uski tees ko
Is baar nahin

Is baar jab main chehron par dard likha dekhoonga
Nahin gaoonga geet peeda bhula dene wale
Dard ko risney doonga,utarney doonga andar gehrey
Is baar nahin

Is baar main na marham lagaoonga
Na hi uthaoonga rui ke phahey
Aur na hi kahoonga ki tum aankein band karlo,gardan udhar kar lo main dawa lagata hoon
Dekhney doonga sabko hum sabko khuley nangey ghaav
Is baar nahin

Is baar jab uljhaney dekhoonga,chatpatahat dekhoonga
Nahin daudoonga uljhee door lapetney
Uljhaney doonga jab tak ulajh sake
Is baar nahin

Is baar karm ka hawala de kar nahin uthaoonga auzaar
Nahin karoonga phir se ek nayee shuruaat
Nahin banoonga misaal ek karmyogi ki
Nahin aaney doonga zindagi ko aasani se patri par
Utarney doonga usey keechad main,tedhey medhey raston pe
Nahin sookhney doonga deewaron par laga khoon
Halka nahin padney doonga uska rang
Is baar nahin banney doonga usey itna laachaar
Ki paan ki peek aur khoon ka fark hi khatm ho jaye
Is baar nahin

Is baar ghawon ko dekhna hai
Gaur se
Thoda  lambe  wakt  tak
Kuch  faisley
Aur uskey baad hausley
Kahin toh shuruat karni hi hogi
Is baar yahi tay kiya hai

… Prasoon Joshi


PS  I had to share this…hamari aankh bhar aayi yeh kavita padh kar…

Take your pick !

November 29th, 2008

A father whose tears have dried up. He is crying his heart out, hoping that it might reverse the fate for his family. In the middle of the night he recieves a call from his son who is far away in Bombay asking him to wake up and switch the television on. The son also requests his father to pass the phone to his mother and younger brother. The last conversation with his family…barely 23 years of age…no more alive…I wonder how that final conversation with the family went. I can only wonder and ponder but will never know the anguish that, that family went through until it happens to me ! disbelief, shock, bolt out of the blue….I can keep adding but I cannot envelop their emotions.
 
The manager is running from pillar to post trying to save as many guests as possible. What havoc must his mind be playing while he carried on helping others when his own wife and two little children were caught in the fire upstairs. The fire services could not reach quickly enough to extnguish the fire…and along with the Taj the family burnt too….the man charred for life. I cannot even imagine….was it fear written over those tiny ones and the wife while they caught flame or was it ” this is it, our time has come, lets pray” …and the manager carrying on with his duties even in such immense personal tragedy….
 
A lady in contact with her husband for the first 8 hours of the terror strike. Her husband and two little ones waiting to hear some news of her safety but no news yet. What must be the state of her husband, inspite of the uncertainity and being very well aware that as time progresses, the glimmer of hope continues to diminish. I cannot even imagine! how would I be in that state, how could he continue to be so graceful inspite of the turmoil…unfathomable..
 
A two year old baby managed to escape along with his nanny and soon will be reunited with his grandfather and older sister. Parents no more after the attack on their house…..how will he grow up…what will these children go through each passing day for the rest of their lives !
 
A man about to leave to Aurangabad from CST along with his wife and a little daughter. In the firing at CST the wife and daughter were injured and as they were rushed to the hospital, the father tells the world that his daughter bled to death and wife succumbed soon afterwards.
 
I know there are many more such grievous tales against humanity. I cannot even fathom the enormity of it all by watching these sad events from my living room. But to say that I am certainly shaken would be an understatement of sorts.
 
Imagine, having to go through something like this, becoming aware that this might be my last day on the planet…this is the last phone call to my near and dear ones…this is the last of the lasts…
 
It just does not make sense.
 
I have rambled on…neither  have I edited this post nor do I intend to…There is a sign up petition whose link you will find in Ekanthapadhika’s latest blog titled ” Mumbai” nadirafromkannur.rediffiland.com. I request you all to sign up for it please.
 
 
The cynic in all of us will say, ” whats the point !”
 
The optimist in me says, ” We will never know until we try !!”
 

No title comes to my mind as of now..

November 27th, 2008

A few years ago I was working in a neonatal unit in London. Whilst I was taking handover of all the babies in the unit from my colleague who was on night shift, a senior nurse walked in with some urgent news. She informed us that a 22 weeks pregnant Gujarati lady in labour  was being transferred from Leicester to our labour ward and the baby’s delivery was imminent. I informed my registrar and consultant and we began delegating responsibilties. As it was day time there were around six doctors of different levels of experience to look after all the babies. We continued with the handover and I was asked to look after the unit and another team of two doctors was preparing themselves for the arrival of this 22 week old baby.
 
The baby arrived in the unit, tiny little one no more than half a kilo in weight, trying its best to breathe. He was immediately transferred to the incubator for warmth, was intubated and ventilated and the artificial respiration was initiated. My colleagues began taking blood samples, acquiring access for medication and drips and organising X -rays.

It was time now to explain the details to parents. The mother was still in the labour ward feeling faint and unwell from the enormity of the whole situation, but the father somehow managed to get himself together and was eager to have the first glance at his baby. As the consultant began to describe things to the father, it became evident that he could hardly speak or comprehend english. The gravity of the situation did not help either.

I, being the only Indian doctor in the unit was quickly summoned to explain everything to the father. Any questions he had and any information that my consultant wanted to provide I became pivotal in getting the message across both ways. We explained that the next few hours would be crucial to see how well the baby responded to our resuscitation and we would then be able to have more answers for him.

As time progressed we ourselves were in a state of despair. One minute things seemed to improve and there was a glimmer of hope and the other minute the baby’s health got worse than it was in the beginning. We felt completely dejected at the way things progressed. I, for one was running from the baby unit to Labour ward to explain every minute detail to the mother downstairs and the father upstairs.

They both kept sobbing, I could do nothing but put my hand on theirs and I grieved with them.

Finally,  it was clear that the baby was not going to make it. Again, it was me who had to break this news to them. How I did it, I shudder
even now when I think of those moments with the parents. The mother kept breaking into uncontrollable wails every time I uttered something, which would make me stop and console her but it was futile. The father himself was in such grief that he couldnt console his wife either.

I suggested to the mother that she might want to see her baby once, one final time. But, she wasnt sure. I explained that however, much a terrible thing it was for me to say, but holding her baby once atleast would help her bereave better when she would think of the baby in future.

She agreed and visited the unit along with her husband and myself. She held the baby’s hand while the father cradled and cuddled the baby in his arms.

It was over. I stayed with the parents constantly explaining the procedure afterwards. Their agony and anguish was so palpable within me. I had known them for only a day and for them, it was going to last for a lifetime.

It took almost half a dozen of us trying to battle out to save this little one’s life without an iota of success and here we have people with grenades and AK -47’s taking innocent people’s lives as if they are crushing coke cans.

I pray and leave you all with these quotes that I have always looked to when filled with sadness.

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. The DALAI H. LAMA

I never told my own religion nor scrutinized that of another. I never attempted to make a convert, nor wished to change another’s creed. I am satisfied that yours must be an excellent religion to have produced a life of such exemplary virtue and correctness. For it is in our lives, and not from our words, that our religion must be judged. THOMAS JEFFERSON