As she dashed out of her building elevator Rati realized that she was royally late for work. Riya, her 1 year old had woke up late today and was clinging to her side. It brought tears to her eyes when she finally cheated on her baby and ran for work. She was still trying to hold back her tears. The only consoling thought was to leave her baby in her mother?s custody rather than some baby sitter.
Since she was late she decided to go by auto instead of train. ?It will be costly but atleast I can sit quietly.. cry a little and reach work with a clear head.? She thought. Rati was working with private sector company. Given an option she would have loved to stay home and care for her daughter. But unfortunately they were tight on finances. Her husband Sri was earning well but more than 30% of his pay was eaten up by their home loan EMI. And add to it they had family responsibilities.
After getting into an auto Rati could no longer hold back her tears. She allowed them to run freely on her chicks. She thought of her baby, her curly hair, her innocent eyes and cried. ?If U want a better future for
Rati would have continued her daydreaming. But beeping sound from her cell phone brought her back to reality. It was a SMS from her friend announcing birth of her second baby. A baby Boy. Her first girl child, was almost 4 now. Her husband was working with a private bank. Rati had been to her house a couple of times. A sprawling 3 BHK? Her friend had stopped working after having her first baby.
?Some people have all the luck.? Rati thought. As she was thinking about this particular friend she happened to think of her other 2 close friends as well. ?Hmm? Both of them are not working… they all have big houses, cars and they all are stay at home mamas?? She felt terrible and angry at her own fate. ?Oh God why me? she thought angrily as her eyes filled with tears. She tried to wipe it with her palms and realisd that she was still holding her cell without replying to SMS from her friend.
She stared at that SMS for a long time and then suddenly started punching key pad furiously ?Congratulation!! The little one will bring lots of joy. Take care?. After sending the reply she threw her cell in her bag with some unknown fury. ?All my friends are so well off that they could quit working after birth of their babies. All of them are at home with their babies. I am the only one slogging for a few thusands??
And then suddenly she was overcome by feeling of shame. ?My friend just shared a great news with me. And instead of wishing her well I compared myself with her and felt ?Jealous? of her. I acted like a true devil? God forgive me. Let that friend and her family be happy with arrival of that new member.?
She was ashamed of herself. She wiped her face and looked around. she realized her work place was approaching.
?I should not start my day with such negative feelings of jealousy!!? she warned herself. She paid autofare and entered her work premises. As a habit she wished evrybody “Good Morning” on her way to desk.
She sat at her desk and mechanically sarted her PC and stared at the screen for a long time. She had saved her baby’s snap on her desktop. She looked at her toddler and that brought smile to her pale face? ?I don?t think I am that unlucky. I have a lovely baby and a decent even though not a wealthy life!?
