This is about my friend. I have changed her name but I am sure the real Mimi will come to know that it’s about her…

I don’t really remember how I came to know about it. All I remember is, I was pretty shocked after knowing it. Well, I am talking about Mimi’s smoking and drinking. Of course she was not a chain smoker or a regular drinker. She used to have max 3/4 cigarettes a week and an occasional fortnightly drink. But a girl smoking and drinking was enough to shock me. I come from a background where girls don’t smoke and drink. Till the time I met Mimi, I thought girls who smoke and drink are bad girls.
 But in spite of knowing about her smoking and drinking I never attached “Bad Girl” tag to her. The reason being, I got to know Mimi before I got to know about her smoking. Mimi was game of a person. A girl who had heart of gold.
   Mimi was my colleague. I had just started my career and joined this small scale firm. It was Mimi’s first job too. We both were trying to build our respective careers & were going through the same phase of life. The phase wherein you are restless, nervous, and yet having fun.
Even though I am an introvert and take time to jell with anybody, I warmed up to Mimi pretty quickly. We became friends in no time.
   Mimi was an extrovert with a great wit. She could make a dead person talk if she wished so. She was also a great listener. I am yet to meet anybody with such a sensitive mind. She could easily sense it if somebody was feeling low. And then she would try her level best to cheer up him/her.
   Being a Cancerian, I have this tendency to go into shell while feeling low. There were days when I used to wish Mimi Good Morning and just by my tone she used to smell my blues. And then she used to try dragging me out of my shell.
   But the girl who could get anybody talking, found it very difficult to express her own feelings. It was like, when pushed too much she would open up just a bit. And when you started thinking, Boy, now she is ready to pour it out, she would go quiet and change the subject.
   When I came to know abut her smoking and drinking, first I was shocked and then I felt worried for her… I was not worried about the drinking part since it was not so frequent. But her smoking did bother me. I had read many scary things about Nicotine. So I started persuading her to quit smoking. Even she agreed that one day or the other she will have to quit it. But she was reluctant to do it right away. She wanted to enjoy few more years of smoking. We talked a lot about it. She looked at it as her way of letting out her inner thoughts, frustration and believed that once this phase was over she would quit it easily.
   I used to argue with her a lot over this. I used to rule out all her logic or explanation by telling her that smoking is addictive. I asked her to learn expressing rather than running away from emotions. I often told her to start expressing inner thoughts so as to avoide feeling chocked up. Alas she continued finding solace in smoking.
No matter how much I tried to put sense in her head, she continued bottling up things that bothered her.

I used to irk her a lot by nagging her. Often I reminded her of her parents (they had once found out about her smoking but she had covered it up skillfully). I made her aware that one day even she will become a mother. “How would you instill good habits in your children if you continued with smoking?” I used to ask her. I even made her read many articles about ill effects of smoking. I occasionally reminded her that her mother had suffered from breast cancer so if she smoked she could be pushing her luck too far.
   At times she got angry and snapped at me for all this. I ignored it. I was determined to get Mimi quit smoking. I loved her and I am very protective of whom I love.
   Thanks to my constant nagging Mimi finally agreed to quit. We decided to take one day at a time. I started keeping tab on her. As I called it, I maintained her cigarette score. After all her outings I used to text her and ask about the score. She replied with the number of cigarettes.
Depending upon the score I replied. Abuses if the score was 2. L if it was 1. And J if it was 0.

   For nearly six months Mimi seesawed between quitting and relapse. Smoking is addictive. Tobacco doesnt let go anybody off its clutches so easily. And Mimi was no exception. She found it very difficult to quit.

   She had few close female friends. And few of them were smokers. Whenever she went out with them she ended up smoking. I never told her this but I hated all her smoker friends. It was like for the entire week I used to try brainwashing her and then on weekends she used to blow it all away in a smoke.
   I soon realized that you can not compel anybody to do anything. It seemed that Mimi herself was not keen on quitting. She said she loved the sense of freedom it offered (till date I have not understod what does it mean). She had probably started hating me for making her feel guilty while smoking coz it took away the pleasure of smoking.
With each passing day, she seemed less willing to quit. She looked genuinely irritated if I grilled her over the increased relapses.
   Since she understood my concern, she never asked me to mind my own business. But the message used to be clearly written all over her face.
Slowly I stopped nagging her. At the end of the day everybody has a right to decide how he or she wants to lead life.
   We both quit that firm after few more months. We remained in touch for another year or so. Then we both got married with a gap of few months. And then onwards it reduced to calls on B’days and anniversaries. Even when we called up each other there used to be an awkward silence during the conversations. It was not a conscious decision to reduce the number and intensity of calls. But somehow it happened that way…
   It has been many days since I last called her. Any relationship if not nurtured dies soon. Ours is already on its way to cemetery.

I hope you are reading this Mimi….
I want to tell you that even though I don’t call you, I still love you. I still think about you. And I still worry about you. I want to know if you are still smoking. I hope you have quit it completely. If you are still at it, I want to know your recent score. If it’s more than 1 I want to abuse you and if it’s zero then I shall send you a big smile. Just like good old days…